Taking It And Attempting To Make It Your Own. You Know, Sort Of Like Gwyneth Paltrow Did With Kim Karnes "Bette Davis Eyes" In The Movie Duets

Not really sure how this race is going to go tomorrow morning. First of all, the brisk wind and ice looks like it is going to be a little freak nasty bitch. Funny, I used to try to hold myself back in order to keep a sub 8 pace. Tomm. I think it will be a miracle if I can hold steady on a 9/9:20 min pace. I also still wish that I would've landed the number 269 yesterday. Instead I had to settle for 268. If only one more person would've walked in ahead of me at registration. If only......

If I don't talk to some of you, have a happy... Possibly white.... Easter!

Thumbs Up To Nikki For Hooking me Up With The Best Wedding Shower Game Gift Ever!

Alicia & Vickie are showing off the goods.

Not Much For Common Sense But At Least I Got Some Nice Blue Eyes...

Signin up for a half-marathon this Saturday. Have not run more than 9 miles since the marathon at the end of October. Oh yeah, and by the way, that 9 mile run was just this afternoon. I think this one is gonna hurt a bit. Keep me in your thoughts on Saturday morning as I am probably going to be saying over and over in my head "Why the f*ck did I sign up for this??!!" Oh well, at least I can look forward to knocking back a few $9.00 beers at the Tribe game later that night.

Happy Monday

I do believe that the quickest way to get over something is to be in front of a toliet, crying, and throwing up. It hurts but it also makes you want to eventually look up, wonder "Why?", slowly lift yourself up and move on.

Happy Monday!

These Boys Got Some Stellar Game...

My friends have some flippin cutie pie kids. I hope this trend hold true for me, but considering the way that I make fun of other people (esp. those that I can detect any sort of visible weakness on), I may be screwed. Oh well, we shall see what the cards hold for me one day.

Luke and Anthony (or A-Train as I have dubbed him) are working their magic above.

Marching Upward & Onward

I must admit that I am pretty happy to see March leave. My final assessment on this last day of the month is that this span of days we know as "March" came in and marched the fuck all over me. It has been a month of changes that have come in the form of love ,confusion, more free time, anger, more time to be consumed with unwanted desires and “what ifs” then I ever thought possible, emotional stomach sucker punching, success, self-realization, conquering my doubts, having doubts and then being semi-I think I might be okay with my doubts --- what a fucking month. However, I sit here on this last day of the month finally with a form of clarity that I have not had in quite some time. I am good and going to keep being good. That is the way it is gonna be. My parents and I always joked that in grade school, which was k-8th for the private school brat that I was, my grades would be good one year and not so good to border line horrible the next year. I am hoping that trend stays true with months for me because a much needed positive month would be aces right about tomorrow.

What is Next?

This week I was able to make a some headway in thinking about my future and what choices I would maybe like to pursue after classes are over in May. In an odd choice, I decided to possibly take the GRE. I was lucky and did not have to take this test to attend graduate school at CSU. However, I know that if I want to pursue other degree options, I will need to take this exam- most likely the general and subject portions of the exam. I am generally a poor test taker so I know I have my work cut out for me. Been revisting some dusty books I have on my shelves and also utilizing the practice tests online. Not sure what I am tinkering with getting myself into but it looks like I will find out...

A Shot Out To Some Of My Peeps...

Just givin some random Tuesday high fives to some of the fine folks I school around with...

Alicia & Johnny: High five on getting the condo all boxed up (well, for the most part, in understand), decluttered, and ready to rockin roll. I wish you many prospective buyers that pop in to take a looky look.

Jenn L: High five on livin it up in Vegas. Who cares if you dropped more benjamins than planned. You had a blast and that is all that matters. You also can now sport a "Vegas, Baby" tank top. Not too shabby.

Jen D: High five on keeping in good spirits despite the bum ankle. I am very impressed with your mental attitude and stationary bike discipline (everyone knows that thing can be a bear to straddle and take for a ride).

Brian and Teresa: High five on progressing nicely with the baby plan. Keep me posted and all good maternal thoughts are with you.

Becky: I know you are out there working your buns off puttin in those long days and with the weather getting nicer that has to be even more of a challenge. Keep doin what your doin, old roommate.

Liz & David: High five for entertaining me on Friday with great conversation and drinks. We need to hang more often.

Gina: High five for keepin me laughin on Friday and Saturday. Great job conquering the Irish Wakes and Miller Lites with me.

Andrea: High five for being the "Big $5" sideboard winner. I think you are stellar and awesome. Stay away from tools that say, "A pain in the ass during the week and a pain in the ass during the weekend"

Get some other peeps later, go to jet for now. Enjoy your evening!

Saturday Fundraiser & Shootin Pool!

Pocket that striped ball, Roxy!

Big sideboard winers, Andrea & Gina!!



This past Saturday I had fun at a fundraiser (I know, I am captain redundancy this morning!) and shooting pool/dancing at The Blue Moose! Lately I have become quite the fundraiser whore, but what can I say? I like to give to charity and oh yeah, get a lot of beer for one flat price. : )

Get Your Drink on at Sullivans!

Thumbs up for Sullivans and for Clams!

Say cheese!

Clams on the wall!

Here is to good friends and good drinks!

A toast to Bass!

Read that book, David and Gina!

Drunk readin makes for an interesting comprehension!
Liz and me getting our drinks on!

I love Sullivans Bar in Lakewood. Really no way around denying that it is a great place. It is a laid back bar in the midst of many other bars in Lakewood that are filled with the hooched up younger crowd that prefers tank tops, dancing and loud music above all else.

I prefer Sullivans because it is a great place just to chill with friends. A steady stream of not too overpowering Irish tunes keeps you in good spirits while you enjoy tasty treats and a good selection of drinks (not all the drinks are of the Irish nature too!). They have one drink in particular that is my personal poison. It is called "The Irish Wake". Not sure what the hell is in it but it tastes a lot like grapefruit juice and can knock you into a state of tipsiness faster than any fruity drink I have ever come into contact with. It does have the steep price of $12 (half price on Thursdays!). But I feel it is well worth it. Even better when your good friends pick up the tab for yours! Thanks again Liz and David! You are aces!

Just to Prove

Some are a little shocked that I attempted skiing (well the very tiny bunny slope, that is) and did not kill myself. I guess I can't blame them since I have been known to take a tumble when doing anything more than walking and chewing gum. How have I survived 7 marathons without a slam into the ground??!!? I, the rest of my friends, and God,are still pondering that one. Here is proof. Although the pict does not show me in action (if you can call the sloooooow speed I was going at "in action").

Jumping off the Adverb, Adjective and Prepostion Train...

Just after spring break is a tough time to get students back into the swing of being alert and disciplined students. After handing in their essays on their favorite character in "Dead Poets" Society, I decided to implement a little Dale Carnegie reading into the curriculum. I think that they, as a whole, responded quite well. Perhaps those that fall back on the argument of "How does this crap actually apply to what I want to do in life?!?", will temporarily change their tune.

This one is for you, K.T.

Wow, it has been six years this May since I graduated from Mount. Yikes! Sometimes it seems like only yesterday that Becky, Jen, Holly and I were getting in water fights (why the hell did we ever think it was cool to throw large amounts of liquid in our rooms at one another anyway?? But it was a hoot at the time) and also playing "hide the cheeseburger (yes, it actually is as bizarre and twisted as it sounds). Other times, when I think of the things that I have accomplished over the last six years (places of employment, additional degrees, car, moving out) it seems like a lot longer. However, I think that now, very appropriately, is a good time for me to look back and reflect on what I felt and what I gained from the last month and 1/2 of college.

When I knew the end was near, I started a paperclip chain. Much like Jen's dad had done in anticipation of retirement from the police force. Sure it was more than a little queer but it also helped me to put into perspective the amount of time that was slowly, but steadily slippin through my fingers. They started to come off one by one until I had a bigger and bigger pile. It started to freak me out.

I knew I wanted to attend grad school, I had a few options lined up but nothing was for sure and money was also a concern. I began to contemplate my full-time/part-time school working circumstances. All these "big girl" thoughts were racing through my head as I still tried hardly to enjoy myself and everything around me since I knew it would soon be changing very fast. where the hell did the time go from September to late March?? I had no idea and the more I tried to hold on to it, the more it kept slipping through my fingers.

However, those last few weeks of college were great (minus the cap and gown incident. If you have not heard that story, hit me up sometime, it is a good one!) And I spent the time really enjoying the people and environment around me. I realized although I said I would keep in touch with many, there would be few that I actually would hold true with on that promise. So I dedicated myself to getting my fill of those people, if, unfortunately, we never crossed paths again.

I also learned to appreciate the work I did as a scholarly student (although sometimes that attitude slipped due to watching Dawson's Creek or having our screaming contests. Yes, we actually used to see who could wale the loudest in our dorm rooms.) I stressed about my SCE (senior culminating experience) but learned to relax and appreciate all the hard work I did when it was over. I had more confidence in my abilities after that event and after evaluating my progress as a student.

Running is whole different facet. I learned to truly appreciate the companionship that being on a team allows and I also gained respect for the value of a hard and honest workout. Things that have slipped a little (obviously so in my post-collegiate weight gain). All in all, my cross country and track days were filled with irreplaceable laughter.

If I had to go back to that time in my life again I would not change a thing because I know that I took the time to really appreciate it as I was going through it. I knew that time for responsibility and commitments was going to be fast approaching so I seized and held on to dear life for my last hurrah as a college kid.

As for my life now, I have few complaints. Seems like every phase of your life brings new challenges but it also brings new forms of happiness and excitement.

Enjoy wherever you may be. : )

The Great Weather Deceiver

In Philosophy class at Mount, Jen and I used to always joke about "the evil deceiver". Primarily just because the terminology is fun to say. I have to admit that the weather recently has been that of a great deceiver.

When I went for a run outside today I sported shorts, a long sleeve t-shirt and and jacket. Judging from the amount of sunshine that I observed from the quick peek out my balcony this afternoon I thought that I would be dressed appropriately. The low to mid 30s optical illusion climate fooled me and I was a bit chilly during my 5 mile run. Oh well, I at best be doing some accurate checking on the weather situation before I venture out next time!

Good Times

One things ends and another thing begins..... : )

Sunday Afternoon Reflections...

Did not get much of a chance to tackle this on Sunday due to formatting lesson plans, having a long drawn out im session and feeling like crap so I am starting it up again while my students are doing some group work.

Got a chance to do alot of thinking since Saturday night. Unfortunately, not by my own choice, I am single again. Really did not see this one coming and from what I believe from my ex I am starting to wrap my head around the idea that this was not planned. Still hurts pretty bad, none the less but I know that alot of others have been through far worse and in the grand scheme of things, less than 5 months is just a drop of water in the bucket.

Perhaps this is my own fault for not be cautious enough. Usually I am with so many areas of life. I would even say overly cautious, worrying about things that are beyond my control. I know that many would say just to go with it when you are in a relationship but I wish that I would've kept a better hold on my heart as things progresses. Oh well, classic, especially girl mistake. Right?

Now toying with the option of being friends. I wonder if that is really going to work? Have any of you had experience with this area? I know I feel pretty confused and upset right now so I have my doubts. I know what I want and I know what my ex wants, in examining those desires we are far away, at least at this time, from meeting somewhere in the middle.

I promised myself that I would use this time to get some stuff in order with my life. Do some thinking and try to rebuild in areas where I know I have suffered recently. We shall see how that goes because right now I am pretty distracted. I guess give me a day or so longer to climb back on that horse.

I'm Back!

Sorry everyone! I know that it has been a loooong time since my last update! Really I have no excuse besides the fact that my computer and password was giving me beef so I was unable to log on. WTF??

Anywho, as many of you know, my time with McDonald Investments has ended so now I am enjoying a little well deserved free time while I soak up a bit of severance and do the teaching gigs at Tri-C and Bryant & Stratton. Personal life is also going quite well too. I learned that having the great "religion talk" can be a bit uncomfortable when you are in a relationship but keeping a calm attitude and open perspective can do wonders. With the weather warming up (wahoo!!! Heat wave in the 30s!!) my running has also improved. No desire to do a marathon this spring but toying with the idea of a half in April or May. We shall see.

Hope everyone else is well! Maybe I will catch up with you at The Jaycees St. Pat's Party on Saturday!

Pssst.... I will be the drunk one in green by the bar!!

Little disgusting tasting white and purple conversation hearts and all...

God bless the snow around here. Yes, I might be the only one making that claim but the weather did do me a huge favor last night. With my evening class being canceled at Bryant & Stratton last night I got a the chance to meet my sweetie in Sandusky (about half way for both of us)for dinner and a drink. In all honestly, the roads were alot better than I anticipated. There was barely any traffic (since most freaks were off work or business opted to close)and with the exception of 480 westbound and the neglect to plow 2 of the lanes, the rest of the trip was smooth but cautious sailing. An air high five to ODOT and their clearing of the turnpike. I was pleasantly surprised. However, here are some random thoughts I have concerning winter weather/transportation:

1> That is great that you have a sweet sports car. It really does not make me want to screw you but I am glad that it works for you and your image. I am sure that it looks mighty sleek and sexy in May-Oct. However, you live in the north, more specifically Ohio (the side that favored the bearded top hat wearing man in The Civil War) and your car blows when attempting to handle the slightest bit of snow or ice. I kind of hope that you do not injure yourself, but more importantly, I really wish that you would get over to the outside lane or not bother going out on days like this so I will not be delayed as I attempt to drive my car. You know, the type that can handle this particular weather.

2> It was around 60 degrees the entire month of December. Why the f*ck are you so bitter about getting the cold weather/snow and junk now?

3> Schools will be closed when the weather is cold or there is lots of snow. This is a fact. You cannot fight this fact. With that said, those that are teachers should not brag it up about their opportunity to stay in pjs all day, if the choose and those that are not involved in education should abstain from getting angry or making half-assed comments. Chances are you will have to go into work while they are turning over on their warm pillow but there is the greater probability that you make more income than they do. Both parties, sleep and dough, can chew on those apples and like it!

Woke up this morning, walked into my living room/dining area (for those of you that know the compact state of my pad) and noticed the beautiful rose bouquet on my table. Made this freakin frigid Thursday morning that much better. : )

What did the rest of you super stars do for V-Day? Anything hot and steamy?

Going To Miss My Cat

We had to put my childhood cat, Napoleon, to sleep on Friday afternoon. I must say, that was one of the hardest things that I ever had to see. I guess I have been pretty lucky and led a fairly tragedy free life to say admit that about myself. I got a sobbing call from my mom after my last class on Friday afternoon. I was grateful that she got a hold of me then because another hour later I would have been on the road and gone for the weekend (although I still, without a doubt, would've turned around and headed home after whenever getting the call).

The cat had a stroke which left him pretty much paralyzed on one side of his body and was also spitting up alot of fluid. About two years ago he was having some heart and breathing issues. A few nights of oxygen at the vet and expensive medications later, he was doing better, actually thriving with being peppy and all. My parents, God bless their generous spirit, had bought us a little more time with him. I knew eventually the time would come soon since he was sixteen (80 years in cat time), but I have not cried that long or hard in quiet some time. Being there while he was given the injection probably did not help me much either but I wanted to make sure he was not scared and did not feel alone. That cat was a huge part of my childhood through adulthood.

That cat was one tough SOB. In fact, took two injections to put his already weak heart to rest. I will always remember him beating the crap out of the dog and purring to give you comfort. He also had a pretty tough tail/pain tolerance since my brother and I accidentally almost took his tail off twice in house doors. My dad is without a doubt going to miss him tons. He was hesitant to get him since he was never a cat person but Napoleon was smart and knew to kiss up to my dad and make friends with him first. He was his napping and table scraps buddy. At the vet I saw my dad cry harder than when he buried his own father 3 months ago. I hope they do get another cat but I think they will hold off for a little while.

Thanks Napoleon, I couldn't have asked for a better cat!

More About My Small Skiing Adventure...

After I got the right fit for my boots and got them snapped into my skis (I seemed to have some initial difficulty with this) I was ready to tackle to smallest mound (AKA the bunny slope). The first challenge was getting up on the tow rope. No one told me that the tactic behind this was to get the plastic pulling device attached to the rope snuggly on your back so it could do all the work. I, unfamiliar with the entire process, instead opted to hold onto the plastic wedge for dear life as it slowly tugged me up the slope, all the while trying to remember Michelle's words of "Try not to cross your skis!". By the time I got up my arms were still tense and I was sweating more but at least I was up the little hill. Everyone in my group then proceeded to tell me that it was time to go back down. My response was "Are you f*cking kidding me?"

Adventures of a first time skier

As Joanne so eloquently hinted at, leave it up to me to date, of all people, a ski pro. Yeap, I have to laugh at the irony of this because as most everyone knows, I lack a basic necessity of balance. However, I decided that you should probably try to give everything a shot, even if just once. More to come....

The good news is that I did not end up in a body cast! Many guessed that would be my fate. Yes, skiing is hard, but I also learned that my attitude would control either the success or failure that I had on the slopes that night. For instance, at the top of a bigger hill (and by bigger I mean slightly larger than the bunny slope) during my second attempt I was starting to get way aggravated. Which warranted the pretty appropriate responses of "Thank God this was not our first date or I do not think there would've been a second" and "Are you ready, bitchy pants?". Those remarks didn't help at the time but they did, eventually, put things into perspective....

The Confession of A Dork...

Did you ever have the thought that maybe you were hanging in acquaintance with someone that was way cooler than you? Me, being both a closet and upfront nerd, am contemplating this arrangement...

State of the Confusion

Bush showcasing a black basketball dude and not only mentioning that AIDS exists but that he also plans on delegating more funding for research. Too late, W, you have lost the house and senate.

Snow Blues

I know, I should be happy that we have been spoiled this long without the white stuff but running in the snow just plain blows. I was slippin and sliding all over town tonight. How I long for the days of 55 degree December days once again...

So Much Better Than....

Last week. Things are turning around, folks! Full speed ahead!

WORDS THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY..

Come on Monday. Where the fuck are you? After this week I really do not think that anymore can be thrown at me. I guess I also have two choices; to be a total bitch and never trust people or to carry on with a positive attitude. Aiming for the second my friends. Aiming for the second.

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time..."

Sweet Realization

I, like I believe many others, operate under the belief that the most powerful words in human nature are "I love you" or "I am sorry". However, I think that "What f*ck was I thinking?" or "Why the f*ck did I ever waste all my time with that?" are my two new front runners. Thank you clarity. Your are my new best friend.

Things I Hope you don't get while at The Chuck E. Cheese today...

Someone near and dear to me is paying homage to the favorite place for kids to gather. This was my list of warnings...

1.) Pink eye from the giant colorful plastic ball pit-o-fun

2.) The urge to dress up like big scary furry mouse in public venues

3.) The craving to quite your current life pursuits & become a professional skee-ball player

4.) The desire to adopt 50 screaming kids in the next 25 days

5.) An uncontrollable appetite craving for super duper greasy cheese pizza that has crust which resembles cardboard

6.) A tendency to pay for sex with "tickets"

7.) An intense sugar high that you cannot come down from

***Okay, that's all I got. I hope you had fun!!!!!

And To All A Happy New Year's Eve!

I hope that everyone has a happy and safe New Year's Eve! Looks like it is going to be a little rainy in my neck of the woods tonight so please travel carefully!

"We May Be Through With The Past, But The Past Ain't Through With Us"

That is probably my all time favorite quote. One used by P.T. Anderson in Magnolia. It poses an interesting question. It also brings up the great debate if a particular person is responsible for actions or if the blame lays in the past and all the other elements that make it up such as other people, events or circumstances. However, how should a person handle events from a person's past when they could possibly affect the future? When the past keeps creeping into the present and future, how can progress be attained? Case in point, is it possible to build a new and stable relationship if one of the partners has an ex that is still in he picture? Not that they are together anymore but that other person, whether through insults or the hope of building a "friendship" once again, is still functioning as the many times invisible third person within a relationship.

Any thoughts? My vote is for three is a crowd. Someone needs to bow out gracefully as The Spinners put it.

How Dare I Forget!

I got the tat in 2006! Small but meaningful, I finally did what I said I was going to do for years! I know, not as big as Liz and Brian's but I still like it lots.

Thanks, 2006

In t minus nine days I hit a milestone anniversary so with that in mind I decided to write a little about how this past year has changed my life in so many ways. Every year around this time, I like many, begin to feel nostalgic. I know I even did this last year around the same time when I listed both the good and bad things that 2005 taught me. Some of those lessons I kept with me long into 2006 and others were forgotten just as fast as the time it took me to post the entry on my blog.

My students are taking their final now so I am going to use this time to recap. I am not going to sugar coat it but instead can the metaphorical talk and discuss the facts that made 2006 one of the best years of my life.

Lost a grandfather in Oct. A man that I was never really close to as I got older but seeing him pass made me wish I would've made more of an attempt and maybe learned to let go of some of the ill feelings that prohibited me from really getting to know him as a person. Also made me realize that I am getting older and hit me with the reality that all the blood grandparents are now gone.

In Sept. I found out that I will be loosing my job at McDonald Investments. Those that know me know that I have bitched alot about work since switching departments. However, like I have said before, you would like to leave it instead of it leaving you. Going to miss most the people I work with alot. However, this gives me even more incentive to truly value the effort and necessity to keep in touch through whatever means possible.

I ran the Boston Marathon in April. My goal as an amateur runner became a reality in the day after Easter Sunday. Honestly, I never thought I would even qualify but thanks to Lynn pacing a heavier than average female distance runner I hit the qualifying standard in Columbus. Do to an injury it was a painful bitch but it showed me that mind over matter really does exist. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. I did it and I am so glad I sacrificed Easter with the family, money I did not have, and missing work during busy tax season to see every highlight of the greater Boston area on foot. I have never felt such a high in my life.

My friendships this year with my really close friends going into 2006 did one of two things. They either became extremely closer or took a nose dive into strained or non-existent. Most however, were not really affected because we tend to not be intensely close emotionally, which I learned, works best with some pairs of people. Those that I thought would never leave my side did and those that I thought would drop me so quick it would make my head spin stuck by my through my darkest and most honest hour.

I discovered that teaching is what I believe to be my calling at this point in my life. That may change in a few months or years but as for now I enjoy it and really get so much back from it. Looking forward to doing it full time in a few weeks.

New romantic relationships helped to solidify the person that I always knew I was. Tried to taking crushing, lusting and anger and confusion all in stride although at times it was a struggle. At the start of a new one now and so far smooth sailing. I learned from what did not work a few months ago. But with this one, everything seems alot easier and I realize now how important laughter and friendship are as a base for something more.

Come on 2007, bring it on. Looking forward to it with eyes wide open.

GRRRRRRR!!!!!

F - You BCS & the horse that you rode in on.

The Importance of Manners...

I have always been a big advocate of having manners around people. Sometimes during the observations of my personal behaviors or those around me, I am pleased and other times I know that I as well as others need to work a little harder. I have learned over the years that manners is extremely vital when dealing with meeting someone for the first time.

I recently reread a book about first impressions and how vital they are to establishing yourself to others. No matter how you conduct yourself in other meetings, it is nearly impossible to redeem yourself if you have a less than desirable first meeting. With that said, always try to be gracious and pleasant when meeting a significant other or acquaintance of a friend. Even if you are not in the best of moods, try to at least fake being interested or semi-happiness. If not, I guarantee that your friends will dub you as "that person who makes bad first impressions." Trust me, that is a title that you do not want to lay claim to. Nuff said. To those that make a commitment to making positive first impressions, keep up the good work!

I Said It And I Am Not Going To Eat My Words....

I have been having the best month ever. Michigan will beat Ohio State on Saturday afternoon.

Can I Get A Jump up High Five?

Wow, I have had some really good past few weeks. Yes, there have been a few hicups in between with deaths and other life issues but for the most part, I am not complaining. In the words of Jen D commenting on one of my recent turns of good fortune: "Woah. You scored big time." Just takin it as it comes. Lets hope it keep on a comin. Word. Did I mention that Michelle hooked me up with some fly new sofas (well, slightly used but heck they were free!). Yeap, life is good.

Come On

I want to watch a new episode of 30 Rock tonight. I do not want to watch two consecutive hours of The Biggest Lard Ass. I do not care how over weight you were and how much weight you have lost on the show while receiving your 14 mins and 30 seconds of fame. Seriously, you and your massive sweating while attempting to do pushups and whining over small portions bores me to tears. NBC, you blow tonight.

Things That My Friends & Family Will Always Playfully Torture Me About, Yet I Have Learned To Accept...

~ I am a Univ. Of Michigan fan living in Ohio. No, I never went to school there or even lived a long period of time within Michigan state lines. However, I have been a fan through good and bad seasons (honestly, can some of you Buck fans own up to that during the Cooper rein of misery?)

~ I am a blonde dyslexic that has no sense of direction. I am bad with directions, I know that and that is why I love mapquest.

~ I am always late. Tell me to be there early then I will try hard to get there on time. I am working on it. Ask Alicia, a few incidents recently had me slightly early or right on time.

~ I love ranch dressing. I could put this dressing goodness on everything just short of cold cereal. To me it is as vital as water. I do give it once a year during Lent just to let myself know that I can and that I do not need a support group just yet.

~ I like to stay up late. This causes me to be the bitch from hell when I have to get up early the next morning but I never think about that till the morning calls.

Thanks Liz! Race Recap Is A Great Idea! But First & Foremost....

PLEASE VOTE DEMOCRAT TODAY!!!

Borrowed from my bud Steve's blog. Love ya Steve! http://edgehos.blogspot.com/

If you vote Republican today in any way, shape or form:

~ you suck
~ you make the world suck
~ you're a millionaire--congratulations!
~ you enjoy snorting meth AND banging gay hookers AND pushing for anit-gay marriage legistation
~ you somehow don't think this country we all love hasn't gotten completely away from us and into corporate interests and completey amoral and incompetent leadership and that our youngest and poorest boys aren't dying needlessly in a desert and I generally hope you get restless leg syndrome for the rest of your life.

Need To Update

I know, I know. Got any ideas?

This One Is For You, Gramps...

My mom made the joke that I should avoid going to Washington D.C from now on because everytime do someone dies. Funny and ironically true come recently. Got home last night and was happy because I got to see my grandpa one last time before he passed away a little after midnight this morning. After I saw him and his ventilator removed labored breathing, I knew it was coming. We all had a pretty good idea.

This morning my brother (sticking with our family theme) made the comment that he died at this time to be cheap and avoid having to pass out Halloween candy tonight. Trust me, if you knew my grandpa you would also think this was funny. My grandpa was no doubt a tough SOB. A car manufacturing line worker that was not afraid to speak his mind. Several times I called him names because of all the crap that he put the family through never realizing that that was just his way. He was true grit, blue collar and was comfortable with his opinions even if they were about 30 years behind the times. His decisions regarding everything from cars to second marriages sometimes confused the family but he just marched to the beat of a different drum. We tried to change it but hell if he would let us.

He was a tough man that not even lung infections or massive bleeding ulcers in the past could derail. Over the years I have strained to see his logic and fought to change his opinions. Looking back now, I can accept them and take comfort in knowing that he never compromised who he was and who the years weathered him to become. Thanks grandpa, it was a learning experience. Tell grandma I said "hello" when you get up there and tell her thanks for letting me P.R. at Columbus last fall.

It's Been A Little While

I know, long time and not alot of contact. Heading to D.C. tomm. morning for the marathon. Will write more when I get back. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

TGIF And Then Some

Okay, a little grouchy this morning due to The Mets loss. Chavez, my man, you spared us a few more inning before the coffin was nailed shut in the 9th. Oh well, it was a good run. Now go TIGERS!!!

I am excited because Running With Scissors and Marie Antoinette are coming out this weekend. Two movies that I have been looking forward to for a while. Got a football game, fundraiser and party to attend this weekend so it should be a smashing time these next few days. I hope all of you have a great one too! Best of luck to my peeps heading to Chi-Town. Lay down the law Becky, Mike and Liz!!! I will be tracking all of you!

Oh Yes, It Is Going To Be Getting Hairy Around Here!

The boys in Sales Support here have decided to grow beards out for their remainder of time at McDonald or at least until they get an interview and shave off their Grizzly Adams look. It must be the week of "beards" in this neck of the woods....

Wake Up!!! You Are In Your Sports Heaven!

Mets thriving in the playoffs. Yankees done and packed up. Michigan still undefeated into mid October. Can't ask for more!

Lesson of Value That I Have Learned From Watching Six Feet Under...

Death happens in a variety of different ways. You better just hope that you do not end up meeting you maker because of a lightening strike, malfunctioning elevator, coal poker through the eye or by slow and painful disease.

If you are going to cheat on your spouse, just make sure it is not with a Quaker. That Quaker sex will make your head explode.

Jeremy Sisko is so fucking talented and way underrated.

Some people are just too different to be together. It is really not anyone's fault. It is just the way it is.

Thank God for American Beauty and Ball's break-through success.

Family guilt will win everytime.

A sink blocking up with blood is a nasty sight to see.

There is so much that you do no know about your parents.

Willa is a kind of cool girl's name.

Don't fall in love with a mentally crazy person. If so, one or both of you will end up dead sooner than later.

And You Call Yourself A True Blue Fan??!!?

Chris, buddy, what is up with get married and having your reception the same night that U of M plays Penn State at an 8:00 start showcased on ABC? I thought we were both die hard Go Blue fans?? I am taking a Buckeye fan to your gala and damn straight there will be some headphones being used on my end!

"On The Long Run"

Because of the events this weekend (the play, wedding and Cedar Point) I could not fit in my usual marathon long run in with the companionship of Jen this past weekend. Instead, I ran my 20 miler today by myself because I took a vacation day. I am not sure if it was because it was usually warm weather for this time of year (close to 80 when I was running) or because my legs were quite pooped from walking around cedar Point the day before, but the run absolutely blew! I found myself swear in my head alot (even sometimes outloud) about how much I hated running. Maybe I was just feeling extra tired today or having an off day with my bio-rhythms but whatever the case was, I was Not feeling the love for long distance running this afternoon. I am hoping that this is just a one time deal and not an omen of things to come for D.C. in a few weeks.

Possible Extra Questions Given On My Midterm Tonight (some real, some not so real)..

~ Correctly spell the instructor's last name. I will give you a hint, it starts with an "M". It also has at least one strangely misplaced letter in the middle that you will most likely leave out. Don't feel bad, most have serious issues nailing the correct spelling but just give it a shot. See, and you thought looking at all parts of the syllabus was a bad idea!

~ Since Athena is stroke deprived and will accept compliments wherever she can get them, what was the subject of her thesis and which two books did she discuss in it. I mention it on the second day of class when you were probably thinking "Yeah, it's an MA from a local city school that is know more for its creative writing program than Literature track so sit your cocky mouth up."

~ What is Athena's favorite beer? Why is it her favorite beer? Does she prefer this beer in question because it makes her drunk fairly fast or does she have a soft spot for its smooth taste?

~ In "The Things They Carried" why do you thing First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross is so obsessed with the virgin/non-virgin state of his love Martha?

~ Do you think Athena has a snow balls chance in hell with the hottie at work? Can kindness and a quick witted sense of humor possibly win over adult onset acne, a smaller than average rack and other obstacles?

~ What is the function of signal words in a paragraph? Construct a well developed paragraph using at least 5 signal words.

~ Why does Athena constantly have issues putting dark blue together with black when making wardrobe decisions? Even after receiving many schoolings from Jen Dahler, why does Athena insist on going against the basic fashion rules? Is it because she is a rebel at heart or is it because she is just too lazy to preplan her wardrobe in the morning?

Why It Is Good To Hang On To Odd Items From Your Early Teenage Years...

For some reason, I never tossed away a poster from Bop Magazine circa 1991 featuring a young Leonardo DeCaprio on one side and a seductive looking Jenni Garth from 90210 on the flip side. I am glad that I keep crap like this because it comes in handy for good comic relief now. We keep circulating it in cubes within my department. When you least suspect it, one of the teen stars pops up by your desk. Hopefully, if the poster ends up in your work area, it will bring a smile to your face. : ) My friend gave me a Prince poster a few months ago. I am thinking that may need to make an appearance around here as well.

The Mighty Lessons Of A Week...

~ I used to be quite enhanted over the years by mysteries and I still think they are beneficial and alluring; however, when they start to provide unneeded false hope and illusions of reality then it is time to just ask the truth. It might sting, it might make you even cry a little, but after that is over you will adjust and possibly live you life a little better and healthier.

~ "Every saint has a past, every sinner had a future." I have loved this quote for years an it constantly reminds me about the values of redemption, remembering and progress.

~ I have learned to give people more than they can handle because they will most likely surprise you.

Literature is the best form of comfort

Tinkering with the idea of having my students dive into Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried" tomorrow night. I know it is a bit ambitious for this type of class but I have faith in them. At times, I think we can all use a little of "TTTC".

"All he could do was dig. He used his entrenching tool like an ax, slashing, feeling both love and hate, and then later, when it was full dark, he sat at the bottom of his foxhole and wept. It went on for a long while. In part, he was grieving for Ted Lavender, but mostly it was for Martha, and for himself, because she belonged to another world, which was not quite real, and because she was a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey, a poet and a virgin and uninvolved, and because he realized she did not love him and never would."

Reason Number 547 Why This Blogger Can Never Teach Younger Students...

From Tuesday September 19th. ENG 0980:
"Well maybe (name not given for privacy reasons), if you pulled your head out of your ass, stopped eating Dortios so loudly and actually paid attention in class, you would not have to distract me and the rest of the class by asking again what the homework is. It is a syllabus, not toilet paper, read it."

Don't get my wrong, I heart my class and try to keep it as mellow as possible for an evening comp. class but I do think an occasional verbal a$$ whipping is good every once in a while and keeps the blood pumping.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... Another Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

When someone is staying after work to work on non-office work (such as homework or lesson plans) do not ask them annoying questions concerning work issues or think it is cool to lengthly discuss your odd personal problems. Do you think they really want to be bothered with it? Think they like staying after prison hours just to make sure their crap gets done? They are probably their because they don't want distractions. Put the pieces together Forest, leave em alone and go home if you are done.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... Another Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

Crushes are great to have. But learn to take a hint and throw in the towel when you know someone is waaaay out of your league.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... One Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

For anybody that thinks their life EXACTLY parallels a tv show or had overly wild hopes that it will, stop it. It is creepy and those around you are starting to notice it. It ain't healthy and psssst..... NEWS FLASH: Most of these shows are NOT based on real life. Learn to deal with your own life and your own reality even though it may be hard to swallow at first. Television is a way for us to forget our troubles not a means to conform every aspect of your life. I have seen this happen with many of the years and on some level almost all of us is guilty of fantasizing but when those lines start to get blurred it is either time to snap out of it or get some help.

"Ain't No Use In Complaining When You Got A Job To Do.."

And that song lyric has never rang truer for me than now. Back to business as usual around here until the show closes which looks like, for sure, January. I am still hunting but also making sure that I keep a good attitude. I know that recently I have been more than a little "off". I had a good conversation with Mrs. Esner at lunch on Saturday regarding jobs, God, choices and life. Her personal career experiences and words of wisdom helped me to see things from a new angle. Also, a belated birthday gift from a friend made me see that everything will work out.

In addition, "Nip/Tuck" seems to provide awesome advice from time to time. I was watching an old repeat on FX when I could not sleep and a quote really got to me. I cannot quote it directly but it went something like this: Some people or situations in your life are like your appendix. You really do not need it or them and sometimes they cause you alot of pain. You are hesitant to lose these things in your life but you soon discover after the removal that you are painfree and better off. Good words to chew on. I have a few appendix like things that I need to remove, and I am working on it. Mine seem to be piece by piece removal opposed to one giant grab and toss.

Felt pretty good about the half marathon this weekend. I ran less than 30 seconds slower than last year. Jen and I were discussing that the weather felt a little warmer than last year but I also know that I was in better shape in Sept 05. I was doing intervals weekly and my speed (or what I have of it) was developing. Due to injuries and teaching, I cannot attend the Tuesday track workouts with the TNT gang but I know I need to start doing those on my own. No excuses now. I have a better attitude and I am getting my focus back. Better late than never!

Funny Things That I Saw During The 1/2 Marathon On Sunday...

~ The man in the mesh shirt. Okay mesh in ANY FORM is not acceptable for clothing. Even the hats are a fashion no, no.

~ The water stop consisting on a guy dressed up as Santa. Thanks, the annoying calypso Jingle Bells that was in my head for the next 4 miles after that.

~ Brian's pugs were so adorable gazing at Elizabeth's bag of chips.

~ Post race school bus filled with sweaty runners = not so good aroma

~ Also, please READ the sign on the window of the bus to know where it is stopping at! I know most of you can read!

I Got Empathy For You Pluto...

Dear Pluto:

I heard the news recently and I am so sorry. What's the deal with those science nerds? Now they have successfully completed their mission to assign you as a "dwarf planet". To steal a saying from one of former my co-workers, "That ain't right". And truly it is not. I mean they let you into their elitist planet club as recent as 1930 only to give you the boot a mere 76 years later. The nerve of them.

On the bright side, we did notice that some loyal backers of yours left some beautiful parting gifts near your stand in the Rocky River Metro Parks. My personal fav. was the retirement balloon and the bottle of beer. I hope the alcohol will help to ease your pain when facing this time of harsh rejection.

Pluto, in a way, I can identify with you this week. UBS has decided to give most of us in Operations the boot within the next few months. No I have not been in orbit here for 76 odd years (a mere 2 1/2 for me) but I still now see the harsh reality of feeling "not in the club". Instead of science nerds, I feel the need to be pissed at business men/women who wear suits costing more than my rent, monthly car payment and student loan payments combined. Oh well, what can you do? I would not even know where to start in order to find these people to confront them just like you have no power to open a can of whoop ass on the nerdy, pocket protector possessing, I am guessing still virgin scientists that demoted your planetary status. Looks like we are left coming back to that beer option. Pluto, for the time being, I would be honored to buy you a Bud or two.

For the time being, Hang in there Pluto. It is best that we stick together during challenging times such as this. In the meantime, don't sell yourself short or "too small" because heavens knows I am not doing that for myself!

Best of Luck,

Risko

Sorry Rhonda

Holy crap, after watching Wrong Turn last night with my dad it is going to be a long time till I go through the hills of West Virginia again.

And The Beat Goes On...

Back to business as usual around here. Well, as usual as it can be despite the lack of energy and positive attitudes being demonstrated by most of the employees. Lots of resume updating and employment hunting going on in this neck of the woods.

Last night was not too bad. Went to a scrapbooking party at Alicia's and got tipsy. Probably not good scrapbooking form but considering the circumstances, I thought it was acceptable. My scapbooking work did not suffer too much.

Thanks to my friends that have called or emailed to see how the sell will affect me directly. Those that work in jobs affiliated with Key already had a pretty good idea and some just found out through other sources and called to check in. Thanks buds. And for those that did not or just don't care, well, I don't really give a crap, you can go screw yourself. And I hope that scooping elephant crap on an daily is somehow worked into your job duties in the near future.

Black Wednesday

Well, it's official. It was announced that McDonald Financial Group was purchased by UBS this morning. I actually got the heads up this weekend but could not say anything till it was officially announced to the media and employees today. We had our operations meeting this morning at 8:45. Those that were not in the office were called by their managers to call dial into the meeting. Many questions were asked by employees with few answers to be given by the head of operations and HR at this time. They explained to us that right now it is a wait and see game. The deal is finalized but the odds and ends regarding who will have jobs and who will not is still being examined and analyzed. I talked with many people in my department and outside and after examining what we do and how it affects the brokerage and bank side, I believe our department will be let go. The plus side is that we will not be let go until end of January and there will be some sort of severance package and extension of benefits (although mine will be short because I have only been here 2 1/2 years).

However, I must say that I consider myself to be lucky. Not much is getting done around here because most are still in shock (even though the rumors have been circulating for a few weeks)but after listening to many talk I do feel like I am in a better position than most. I do not have a family or child on the way (like some of my co-worker friends do). Also, I am pretty young so hopefully that is a plus for the job market. In addition, I do have a part-time teaching gig at the college with some additional hours that I can pick up at the campus writing center. Not near the financial security that I have here but if need be, I will take it.

I know many of you know that I have been pretty grumpy considering my job recently. My attitude has been crappy due to department changes. However, I do love the people in my department. It is no secret that I have been applying and interviewing to other institutions for the past few months but I also felt a sense of security because if those options did not work out I could still stay here at McDonald. Now that has been stripped away. I, like I am guessing many, felt better when I had the choice to walk away from this place instead of it walking away from me under the UBS name. We shall see what the future holds...

The Things We Do For Crushes....

Last night at around 2:30 am (had some issues sleeping due to my sinus congestion & asthma) my mind started to wonder to obscure topics. Right after my second hit of my Albuterol inhaler (odd because I rarely have to rely on it in non athletic pursuits) I laid in bed and began to think of all the curiously stupid things I have done in the past for the sake of crushes. Some I did when I was younger and others I did when I was older and probably should've know better not to be so over zealous with my actions.

After taking a mental inventory as I tossed my sheet on and off and did the fourth rotation of pillows under my head in order to aid my breathing ailment, I came to the conclusion that the one that takes the cake has to be when I decided to take a summer class during college just because a crush of mine was going to be taking the class. Looking back, it was a a great class, in fact on of my favorites that I took at Mount Union but my rational behind initially deciding to peruse the class was humorous and logically flawed.

Anyone else want to share what they have done in the name of a crush? Come on, I know you got some good stories out there....

Back In The Saddle

Well, trying to get my head and body back on track. Besides this plaguing cough and sinus pressure, I am getting there. Started my night class this evening. It seems like a great group of students. I have a lot of automechanics, nursing students and even a future chef in my class. Yee haw boys and gals, the fall semester is in session!

A Penny For Your Thoughts Concerning My Next Career Move...

With rapid rumors flying around Key/McDonald Operations that UBS will be buying out Key, I decided to put some thought toward my next career choice. Every few months the rumors heat up that another firm will buy out Key. In the two and a half years since I have been there I have heard National City's name thrown around quite a bit. Towards the end of work today I heard more people talking about it and I even heard that some were crying. As for me, I choose not to think too hard about it since it is not really a secret that I have been looking actively for employment elsewhere even before I heard of the serious rumors. I refuse to get my stomach all in knots and risk getting diarrhea over something that I inevitably have no control over. But I guess I can see some being upset. Especially those that have spent a majority or even their whole careers with this one company.

So, dare I ask, if fate does have me making another move, what should be my next choice? Perhaps taking a huge loan and opening that bar that me and my one friend always discussed or should I start to finely tune my fire juggling skills?

A Little Bit Loose & A Little Bit Tight

The entertaining drunken bachelor party boys from Detroit (sporting U of M gear and all!) that we met at the Tribe game on Saturday kept making references to the subject line so I think I'll use it to give the weekend round-up! They did buy us beer so they earned their shout out.

The weekend was a pretty good one. Headed over to The Budapest Blonde martini and wine bar with some friends for a belated b-day gathering. I really enjoy that place. Very low key, intimate and smoke-free. I realize that the drinks can be a little pricey for some but they do use top shelf alcohol and use a good amount in all their mixed drinks. After two you are flying pretty high.

The run on Saturday morning with Jen went fairly well despite the humidity. The both of us both felt pretty well physically which is a step in the right direction considering that we have both seemed to be plagued by injuries while training for the Marine Corps. Marathon. I think we are finally starting to get our crap together for this one!

Went to the Tribe game on Saturday night. The seats were pretty sweet (thanks Uncle Thud!) but we did have some grievances about the thick heat because we were under the overhang. However, the icecream after the game helped to remedy that.

Sunday was mostly devoted to getting all my school crap organized for my night class that begins on Tuesday. Finished all the stapling of the syllabuses and junk so I think I am in pretty good shape. Also went for a long walk with Deb while we managed to mostly avoid the rain. Watched half of "Broke Back" and had some serious concerns about the caliber of movies being released this year considering the dynamite showcase last year. I know it is still early in the game and the holiday hype has not yet begun but I am still thinking that it might be a light year for Oscar worthy contenders.

Things I Would Really Like To Do When I Am 27

Okay, one day into it and I am going to start thinking big. We shall see how long this motivation lasts! It is the job of all of you out there to make sure that I do not fall off the horse or if I do fall off, I dust myself off and get right back on.

1.) Lose some pounds and get in better shape. Marathon running had kept me in pretty good cardiovascular shape over the years however my crappy diet has kept the pounds on. I need to eat more of the good stuff and leave out so much of the sweets and fats. I was looking back at pictures this week from my junior year of high school and I had some definition in the ab area going on. Not sure if I will ever be able to make that happen again but I am going to give it a shot!

2.) The weird passive aggressiveness needs to stop. My mom is the queen of this tactic and currently my attitude has been leaning towards assuming her ranking. If I am upset I need to express it in a diplomactic means. Life is too short to keep things bottled up or wreck relationships over dumb reasons.

3.) I need to meet different types of people. Dahler and I have been having a discussion of specific types. I have met some AWESOME new folks this year (Liz, Brian, Lisa K just to name a few) I need to keep this trend going because the more people I meet the more I learn. : )

4.) Get my career path on track. Alot of you know my job dilemmas recently. I am trying to make some changes and I need to remember to keep being persistent and not let minor set backs discourage me too much. The important thing is that I keep the faith and push forward with my efforts.

An Overdue Apology Redux

Sorry that I left so odd and quickly a year ago. As you guessed, it was not the sour stomach from food poisoning that sent me home so shortly after I had arrived. And no, I was not intent on watching the N.C. on tv after I got home. Things are in a better place now and I guess no guarentees that it will happen again but as for now I think that roads are alot clearer and the communication has been better than ever. And as Mr. Joel put it, "And so it goes, and so it goes.. And you're the only one who knows..."

When You Are Finally Ready To Admit That There Needs To Be A Change

These past two weeks have been stressful for me and I have not been in my usual spirits. Throw the extra additive of pms in there and then you have a dangerous mixture. For the past two and a half weeks I had to work a co-workers desk while she took a much deserved vacation to Florida with her family. Our department was recently consolidated a few sort months ago so alot of us are still learning all the ropes. Before I even took over her desk I had major anxiety issues because I knew that my overall knowledge still had alot of holes and I also was aware that she had the busiest desk in the department. Everyday I faced a new challenge and soon learned that the branches that my co-worker tended to posed the oddest and difficult questions to be answered. My co-workers helped me out alot during the time that I tended to her desk yet I still was constantly worrying and would get upset if I could not immediately solve an issue.

This made me realize (well, not so much realize as enforce) that I have unfortunately inherited two of my parents' worst traits. My mom, even though she has the ability to talk to anyone and never really have a phobia of meeting new people is also a constant worrier. She worries not only about herself and loved ones but also events and people that have no real impact on her life. I always harp on her for biting her nails and worrying her stomach sick but I now know that I do the same. I have discovered that running has helped me relive alot of my anxiety but unfortunately I have not been able to do alot of that over the past 2 weeks do to a leg injury. I need to learn to take things one step at a time instead of looking at the huge picture and freaking out about how everything is going to get solved in one grand swoop.

My dad is a pretty happy and easy going guy with a finely tuned sense of sarcasm. Both my mom and brother claim that he mellowed out alot after having a daughter and I like to believe that helped his attitude even more. However, my dad also has a bad anger streak. Now we both share the same stupid habit of smashing or kicking walls or doors (as I learned from going postal on a steering wheel and bathroom door recently). I am not really sure why we do this. Maybe it is just that we have the immediate need to release our energy and violent actions seem like the easiest of ways. I know this is not really a productive way and I am really going to start to look into some deep breathing exercises or calming mediation methods.

Five Random elevision Beliefs...

~ FX currently has the best originals series on television.

~ Six Feet Under is the best written series ever.

~ Soap never reached its creative potential due to the time period when it aired.

~ Everyone does not love Raymond because I do not love him.

~ ER, how many more times can you jump the shark? It is time to shutdown the
hospital.

Michelle's Weekend of Fun

So this weekend was Michelle's bachelorette party on Friday night and wedding shower on Saturday afternoon. On Friday Lynn and I were the BW and MUC members adopted for the evening into the Miami gang as we partied it up at Lynn's pad and Shooters.

Michelle really did not consume too much alcohol but she must still be a light weight (well, I guess her barely weighing over 100lbs also contributed!) because she was still feeling the rough affects on Saturday afternoon at the shower. Despite the stomach and head issues, I must say that she put on a good front acting interested and excited about all the guests and gifts. I know, that usually no noise and a dark room seems like the best option for a hangover but she was not luck enough to have that choice. Good job, girl! You are one tough cookie!

One Day You Are Going To Get To The One That Really Hits You...

These were the words that one of my friends mentioned to me a few years ago right after college graduation. During the time period consisting of the years directly after college many of my close collegiate friends started to get engaged and married. It is during this time period that we like to refer to by the terms "Weddingpoloza" or "Mount Marriage" since they seemed to be happening like rapid fire and every season became a non-stop party of planning, showers, ceremonies and receptions. It was a great time and I loved ever part of it.

In lue of all the excitement, I remember one of my friends saying the subject line because even though it was a little crazy at first to think of my friends as married women it was somewhat, well, I guess, expected for me to see them that way. The friends I had met in college were either dating or soon started dating their soon to be husbands while I knew them. My friend knew that some day I would get to that friend that I knew for a longer period of time, the one that I knew for almost my whole life and when that engagement happened it would probably be the biggest change.

Well, that moment has come. Last week, while on vacation with John, Alicia got engaged. I was so happy and honored that I was the second person that she called to tell the good news to (after her parents). Even though I did threaten her many times that if I was not one of the very first to know that I would be seriously pissed at her! The news has made me happy and excited for them. It has also made me quite nostalgic this week.

Alicia and I have been friends since kindergarten. And this is no joke. I know that sometimes friends can use that line as a cliche' in front of others just because they "knew" or "occasionally hung out" with someone back in those grade school days but with us it is 100%. Even got the pictures to prove it. Back in those Mrs. Shunk days. I swear, that lady had to be close to 100 when we had her and I think she had at least 10 more years of teaching after we moved to 1st!

After grade school (we did the kindergarten - 8th grade deal because of Catholic schooling) it was on to different high schools. She went on to the the Catholic school on one side of Parma and I went to the Catholic school on the other side of town. During that freshman year we talked but not as much, giving each of us some breathing room to meet new people and make new friends. As high school progressed we had some new buds to our claim but our friendship was still just as strong.

After high school it was on to college. Alicia decided upon a bigger state school in Southern Ohio known for its academic prestige. I opted for a small liberal arts school pretty close to home. The college years were kind to the both of us. Alicia stuck with the clarity and focus of an ice arena while I claimed solace at the track or wooded trails. Alicia took the medical and science path while I found a joy in the English humanities. Science vs arts. That was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the differences between us.

Alicia was always the perfectionist. The one with the hair always perfectly in place. We used to joke about all the hair clips that she had in her collection. I, on the other hand, was lucky enough to make it out the door with clothes on my back and a brush run through my hair. The perfection penetrated past the exterior and into the interior of herself considering how smart and talented she was at academics. Mostly the straight A student, Alicia excelled at most things involving education. I on the other hand, the student that really did not start paying attention or giving an ounce till about 7th grade, preferred the mediocre mentality. Years later I wonder why I never tried cheating off of her in matters concerning book smarts. I guess that better part of me containing my conscious just got the best of me as it sometimes does.

If I tried to sit down and list all the reasons why we are still friends and why Alicia is so important to me, it would be impossible. It is hard to sum it all up and put into words why I am so happy to soon see her share her life with John. A man that is a great person and a perfect match for her.

I think a major reason why we have been able to stay so close is because she makes friendship easy. I can count on one hand the number of major fights that we have had over the past 21 years. And that is alot considering that friendship between girls can have the tendency to be petty at times. We have been through some good and challenging times over the years but we have always been able to go through these events with open communication and mostly smiling faces. I can't wait to see what the next twenty-some years bring.

On The Mend..

The hamstring is doing a little better today. Happy to report that. : ) Been trying to stretch it as much as possible during work. This makes for some interesting contortions at my desk. My co-workers may start to wander.

Who would've thought that running home during a tame game of co-ed softball could wound me? Getting down on the dance floor at the wedding on Saturday night probably did not help much either but if I had the chance to do it over again I wouldn't change a thing about my ridiculous dance moves! I was also pretty psyched that Roxy requested "Bootylicious" for me! You got to love a couple that has "Pour Some Sugar On Me" as their unofficial wedding song. Priceless!

May try to bike a little more tonight to loosen it up. Hopefully I will avoid the rain storm unlike last night!

Congrats!!!

Best of luck to Neil & Roxann! Great wedding and reception on Saturday! Talk to you guys when you get back from the honeymoon!

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Is the key to happiness nothing more than safeguarding yourself from potential harm? Is it more of a defensive tactic than an offensive move forward?

Longing For The Financial Security of My College Days

I remember about two years ago one of my friends remarking that she was happy that she was out of college because now she was finally making some money and no longer living life as a poor, in debt college student. I was happy for her self-realization but I did not share the same feelings regarding my financial situation. In fact, when I stopped to reflect, I discovered that I think I had more money while IN college.

During the early part of my senior year of high school, when it was getting down to crunch time to decide which college to attend, my parents sat me down and explained how the whole financing of my college education was going to work in our family. I was fortunate. In fact, I realized alot fortunate than most teenagers. My parents informed me that they were going to help me out with the cost of my higher education. I was going to have the same set up that my older brother had years prior. My parents would pay half and it was my responsibility to come up with the other half. They also made it know to me that my brother went to a public school and I was attending a private school so my tuition would be understandable higher. They told me that I would, and had already received some grants and scholarships but that I would also have rely upon other means. And since whoring myself around the streets of downtown and selling weed to burn outs was probably not what they had in mind, I knew that I would be dependent on student loans and getting a job or jobs while at school. After they informed me of the basic odds and ends of our oral contract, I did what any head in the clouds 17 year old would do, I shook my head and agreed without putting much thought into it. And I have to agree, my head could safely remain in those clouds throughout the 4 years that I spent in college.

Shortly after I arrived at college I knew that Dr. Lowe was a cool guy. I met him at preview and from that point I had confidence in my major decision. I knew I wanted to get a campus job. I realized that I would make less doing this than working somewhere off campus but a campus job meant a sense of security and the flexibility to work around my class schedule. Since I was admitted into the honors college writing class, I was able to work in Kelly Lowe's directed writing center on campus. It was a great gig four four years. I got to work around both my classes and cross country/track practice schedule and use my brain. I considered my self to be very lucky because I had some friends that were sweating their asses off working hard manual labor in the cafeteria or mowing the campus lawns while I was sitting in a cushy chair helping students by chopping and dicing their papers. It was a great gig. Not horribly busy (with the exception of right before finals week) but active enough to keep me on my toes and make me feel like I was making a difference in the lives of students. I even got to be student director of the EH100I program my senior year which was a great experience. In addition to this, I was an RA. Over breaks I working as a lifeguard for indoor and outdoor pools

The short end of it was that I was making money, spending money and managing to save some dough. I was not thinking about the student loans that were accumulating. It was good and carefree time. A time when I could pay cash for a videocamera and a case of beer. It was simplistic.

And here I am today five years since graduation with all the added responsibilities of adulthood - rent, car payments and student loans. Not that I would change anything because I had a great college experience and I love living on my own and having a car that I love but having the financial blaahs like so many mid-twenty year olds does have its downfalls.

The Best New Show That Your Ass Better Be Watchin...

"Dead Like Me" on SciFi Tuesday nights. My dad clued me in on this new one. Just started up last Tuesday. Sarcastic eighteen year old girl gets accustomed to her new life as a grim reaper after she dies suddenly by being hit by a toilet seat cover from a Russian spacecraft. Quirky and well written as the protagonists adjusts to her new co-workers and struggling with learning the rules of the after life. Give it a shot, guaranteed to make you laugh. : )

A Rough Day On The Range...

As some of you might know, my department at work has been consolidated so everyone is being crosstrained for new duties. I have gone into a more detailed explanation with a few who have seemed interested (or at least did a good job faking interest) but I will not go into all the odds and ends in this email because lets face it, work, for the bulk of us that dwell for eight plus hours in office cubicle land can be stressful and boring to hear about. For that reason, and for my own focus on enjoying my hours outside the confides of the business I will spare you all and just mention one category of my job.

I work in retirement plans for a brokerage firm so naturally my job has me deal with death quite regularly. Many times it happens to the elderly, those in their late 70s, 80s or even beyond. And while I am sure that it is very sad for their families, since we have all experienced the heartbreaking loss of an older relative, it is also somewhat inevitably expected in the great time table of life. The past two days I came across incidents that strayed from this interpretation of the circle of life. One was a mid forty year old man that committed suicide by hanging himself. In the death certificate went into detail about the electric cord that he used and the type of sewer pipe that bared the weight of his body. Although you may try not to paint the mental picture it is near impossible to do so. The second incident occurred when a branch representative called our department to notify us that 3 death beneficiary forms were going to soon be faxed over. She unfortunately did not spare us the details of it being a family of three (mom, dad and son) that were suddenly killed in a car crash. Information like this really makes you evaluate how precious life is.

I have never really had a paranoia with death. Yes, it does scare me but I know that it will happen to all of us at sometime. Hopefully later than sooner for those that I care about. Perhaps it is because I have seen it from such a young age. So much in fact that I was shocked when in college one of my friends mentioned that she had never attended a calling hours wake before. From a young age I had been exposed to attending calling hours and funerals. My mom worked closely with a VFW hall where there were many older members. They became like second grandparents to me and I would tote along with my mom when she went to pay her last respects. The back of this hall was also where I saw a murdered prostitute in the dumpster of the cheap motel adjacent to the hall. Death again, but that time it left more of a mark for a long time. It was death in the most grotesque sense that I could imagine. In addition, my parents both had best friends that were funeral directors. Kind of spooky but not as odd as the fact that they also had childhood dogs bearing the name "Tippy" that both, no joke, one day ran away and never returned. When a family member died it was always a tough call to make Dale or Tommy do the arrangements at their respected establishments. However, even with the modest amount of exposure that I have had growing up, it still leaves my stomach turning a little to see life tragically snatched away.

More On The Relay...

Other than the rain I think that everything went generally okay for the Relay. I got there a little before 6:00 pm and had to park in the far lot because the closer lots were completely filled. I thought this would be the case since many got there earlier to set up prior to the kick off ceremony at 6:00 pm. I was going to try to get up to Tri-C at 5:00 but with work it was not possible. Although, I did manage to cut out a little earlier from the office.

I had tinkered with the idea of taking a half day on Friday so that I would be able to at least squeeze in a quality nap but that was just not in the cards. However, I did make the decision that proved to be pretty dumb during my lunch break. At around noon I decided to take my sandwich out too my car and maybe try to sneak a little 45 min nap in. Well, due to it being so flipin hot (even after I moved my car to a semi shaded spot) and the persistence of a giant dragon fly to enter through my sunroof, that plan was quickly foiled.

About a half hour after the opening ceremonies the light rain got heavier and lightening and thunder started up. This prompted officials to instruct us to go into Tri-C and wait out the storm since they anticipated it passing quickly. While in the building we quickly found ways to amuse ourselves with Roxann's card animal noise game (see me and I will explain it!) and by doing impromptu dance moves in an open ballet studio. During this time my parents stopped by with some cookies for everyone and a double cheeseburger for me. They rock!

We did venture outside again for about an hour to do some walking but had to return because the once clearing sky was turning gray yet again. All of the rain caused the grass to be extremely muddy. It was not that big of a deal when on the concrete circle but it did cause problems when walking back and forth from our tent. It was impossible to not have your feet or some part of your legs caked with mud. Neil, Chris, Vicky and Rox kept joking about the possibility of mud wrestling. I am sure that would've got some donations! : )

Relay For Life

Okay, I crashed for a few hours so I think I am recovered and good to go yet again.
: ) From 6 pm yesterday evening till about 9 am this morning (the closing ceremonies concluded a little earlier although I was not complaining because I was pretty beat by this point) I participated on the Parma Jaycees' Relay For Life Team which was hosted around the make shift concrete circle around the pond at Tri-C's Western Campus.

Overall, it was such an awesome experience! I guess though I need to apologize to the ones I either texted or called freakishly late or early in the wee hours. Opps! I guess I lost track of that whole time concept! I have lots of funny things that I want to write about but not enough time to jot them down during this sitting. But the one thing that I did want to comment on was how difficult it was to function on lack of sleep. By the time the event ended I had been awake for about 26 hours straight. I must say that I think that is the longest that my body has ever functioned without sleep. Yes, a new record! Although, it was a record that I do not want to attempt to break anytime in the near future. As we were either walking around the track or chilling out in our tent one of my friends said that this has to be easier than running a marathon. I totally disagree with her on that point. Although running one is difficult, it is still a heck of a lot shorter time wise. Also, training for a marathon gets your body used to the conditions you will have to deal with on race day. There was no way for me to train in a healthy way for this event which tested me physically and mentally. Well, more to come, I am off to enjoy the rest of my night!

What To Do When The Candles Are All Lit (continued)...

Many times we hold on to the certain ideas. We focus on them a great deal, wish for the thoughts to turn into realities and maybe, perhaps even pray that one day all of our efforts will turn into success and we will get what we so badly think we need. And with enough personal attention, these dilemmas even have the slight chance of developing into obsessions. While, even though they can serve as a distraction, can also be harmful if there really is a truly slim chance that the dreamer can turn their wish into a reality. Symbolically, every thought we have about this goal, every amount of effort applied is, in turn, a candle being lit....

What To Do When The Candles Are All Lit?

Okay, for the first time in too long I actually sat down to do some serious writing last night. A very good thing for me considering that recently I have been looking for every excuse not to do so. Time to get back into the swing of things and stop being so lazy when it comes to effort. A recent event has prompted me to skeleton construct an essay tentatively entitled the same as this post. I have alot of thinking/deciding to do with this particular piece so I will have to see how things develop. Hopefully, I will keep postings on my blog.

Way To Go Cousin! Want To teach Me A Little?

From the front page of today's Cleveland Plain Dealer. Apparrently, golf talent is not gentic....


1 round, 2 holes-in-one for 8-year-old
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Mary Schmitt Boyer
Plain Dealer Reporter
Harrison Vonderau pulled out his pitching wedge, took his aim, swung his club and watched the golf ball fly. It bounced on the green and rolled 20 feet into the cup 76 yards away.

Harrison, 8, and his father, Dave, started screaming and jumping up and down.

"We almost fell down we were so excited," Dave Vonderau said. "I never had a hole-in-one, but I was happy to watch his."

So how did Harrison celebrate his ace?

He made another one with the same ball and his 9-iron 20 minutes later.

"It was unbelievable," said Jeff Staker, the pro at the Washington Golf Learning Center in Newburgh Heights, where Harrison and his dad competed in the Pee Wee Division of the Cleveland Metroparks Father/Son Tournament on Saturday.

Not only did they win the alternate-shot, nine-hole event with a 1-under-par 28, but they also became the first golfers in their division to break par since the tournament began in 1991.

Roxy's Bachelorette Party Check List...

1.) Drink out of a mini penis straw (CHECK).

2.) Sing a horrible version of Linda Ronstadt's "Long, Long Time." Although, I did give the bar patrons a fore warning that it was going to be bad because I am tone deaf but I do love that song. Regardless, ma and pa would've been proud because they have been fans of the Queen of the Blue Bayou for decades. I also was supported by a back up dancer and my friends doing the fake lighter sway (CHECK).

3.) Attempt to play mediator between Roxy and heavy set local bar lady because her boy friend showed Roxy his penis on her territory. "Sorry Miss. You are being a good sport. I know we are being loud and annoying but we will be gone after a few songs and then you can go about resuming your "I love this bar" mentality after we have moved on to a new local bar for a few drinks (CHECK).

4.) Get asked by a creepy and overly hairy man in a tank top to remove my bra and hang it with the rest of the intimate trophies on the wall of fame. Sorry man, it is a Victoria Secret and my amount of fabric can't hold a flame to some of the double Ds sported up there (CHECK: or maybe this does not count as a check since I decided to decline and keep my girls supported for the rest of the evening)

5.) Drink a Bud Light way too fast and feel an instant "I'm gonna hurl wave" (CHECK).

6.) Contacts, glasses... Still hot stuff (CHECK).

7.) Discuss thesis subjects with another English Lit geek while feeling a good buzz from a cherry bomb shot (CHECK).

8.) Get sassed by the McDonalds drive-thru worker while attempting to get fries for a car load of greasy food craving ladies (CHECK).

9.) Break the seal and have to pee alot (CHECK).

10.) Avoid the next day hang over syndrome by taking a vitamin B complex prior to drinking (CHECK : )).

Some Things I Learned From Helping Work The City of Parma Parade This Morning...

No group or person wants to follow the horses.

There will always be a h.s marching band controversy on which band gets to go first.

Holiday parades may be the only time when it is acceptable for children to pick up candy from the ground that was tossed by strangers and enjoy consumption.

The people that have no part nor want to have any part in helping to plan or assist with the parade will be the most vocal complainers.

Neil has a whole bunch of patience.

Oh, So Now I Can See Clearly Now (No need to stop the techno jives)...

I love ELO. Too bad I can't rely on their lyrics sooner instead of wasting 4 to 5 being frustrating and dellusional. Good thing I got my head together just in time for back yard bbq!

"So let her/him go don't start spoiling the show, it's a bad dream..."

Just Thought You Would Like To Know...

Despite the mind numbing boredom of learning IRAs today, there was a pretty funny moment at work. Around our two building there has been alot of new construction. This translates into much dirt, noise and aggravation because our parking situation is both confusing and detouring. However, once in while a point of humor does arise and this was one instance of it. This afternoon, while I was speaking to a co-worker about work matters, the loudest quasi-fart drilling noise occurred. It prompted both of us, as well as every once else in the quad (at least those with a sense of humor) to chuckle. It only last a few seconds but then a few minutes later we had another instance. Ahhh, got to love those few great funny office moments!

A Diagnose of Backyard BBQ

I was going to write this post whining about how my belief in unconditional love was slowly getting tarnished or how nothing can bring two friends closer together than discussing the mutual disgust and utter grossness of another's actions. Oh well, can't change what others think, right? And besides, how can I deep into such heavy issues with backyard bbq approaching so fast.

For those of you that know me, you must know that I heart the backyard barbecue that my brother and I have been throwing for the past few years. It is a chance to relax and kick back with some family and friends. I like the 4th of July because it tends to be a low maintance holiday although normally there are at least one or two stress fights prior to the party between my mom, my brother and me. However, it all gets pulled together and as soon as I have had a few drink and break out the guitar to "play" songs I can truly say that I am having a blast.

Ironman: They brought the noise American Style!

Congrats to Bryce, Kurt, Brian and Su for kicking some major butt at the Ironman in France! I cannot even imagine what you all just went through. My lazy ass is off to enjoy the rest of my easy goin Sunday. You are all fucking stallions! Can't wait to hear all about it when you return. I hope you are partying it up and enjoying the rest of your trip! Heavens know you earned it and then some!

http://ironman.com/events/ironman/france/?show=tracker&y=2006

12/21/05 - 6/21/06: Six Months Later...

Okay, this one is going to take me a little bit of time to write for both good and hard reasons. I want to try to get it done today but I guess that at least starting it is a step in the right direction. Alot has changed and alot of constants have remained the same. People have shown me their true selves both giving me glimpses of the positive and the negative. Sorry to be so vague on this one but this post is for me. It is my personal journey, my reflection and doing this helps.

Can I Get A Witness & An Air High Five???

Today at approx. 4:23 pm today I had the first chance to work my new tattoo fittingly into a conversation. Recently I was settling for the "Hey, look at my new tat!!" or "See what I did!" However, after noticing the month of my b-day, Ron came up to me and we discussed the comraderies that fellow Leos chat about. And me, looking for the golden moment, seized it by lifting up my shirt (office appropriately) and pointing out my small ink Leo symbol. Yeah, finally fit it in. Now my hope (fingers crossed) is that someone will use the ever cheesy, "Baby, what's your sign?" line with me at Alicia's b-day drinking/dancing lets boogie like we are 21 again extravaganza on Saturday night so I can flash it again. Oh yeah, we all gonna have some fun! Come join us if you are in that neck of the woods!

My Adventures As A Card Carrying, Corn Buttering Carny

This past Thursday, Saturday and Sunday (Friday was a waste because of work, credit union matters to tend to and softball game) I helped to cook corn on the cob, sweet potatoes and baked potatoes for the Parma Jaycees at the Parma Rib Burnoff. I must say, it was very fun yet tough work. I feel beat. Rox and Neil were there so much longer than me that I do not know how they managed to never stop smiling. I think I need to take some time away from looking at corn and my body also needs to go through some serious detox from all of the crappy carnival food that I ingested. Funnel cakes and fried icecream, need I say more?

Took tomorrow off work. I think I am going to work on getting the corn stench out of my clothes and I also need to boggie up to Tri-C to pick out my books for my fall class. I also need to run and perhaps squeeze in some quality time with friends. Yet, sleeping in is still the highest of my priorities. : )

Ouch!

They say that seeing the one that you love in love with someone else is the worst kind of pain. Well, at least Michael Bolton lays claim to that theory. However, after last night and this morning I am thinking that passing kidney stones has a strong contention for first place. I have always admired those that have given birth and now I give those women even more credit because I realize that the pain I endured was nothing compared to what they have gone through. Something so large out of something so freakin small.... Good grief...

After This Week (and wow, it is not even over with) I Have Learned The True Value Of...

"You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, and know when to run...."

Thanks Kenny. Sometimes I think you taught me more than grad school. You have most certainly "Decorated My Life".