Reason Number, I Don't Know, 252,348 Why This Gal Needs To Gideeup & Get A Place Of Her Own....

Screw the bats setting up camp in my apartment, this gal needs to get some Direct T.V. The Big Ten Network is going to be showing most of the U of M games this season. That translates to me not being able to watch most of the none important, no conference, Michigan going to beat the holy crap out of em games that I used to be able to watch on ABC and ESPN 2. Damn it to hell! Because lets face, a fall Saturday afternoon without me watching the maize & blue charge the field ain't no fall Saturday afternoon!

GO BLUE!!!

It's a Hard Knock Life For Stew

"Hey, little Stewie here. Just taking a quick cat nap in my gay ass rainbow tunnel. I told my mom to take a break from her crap she learned from being 27 rant to let me diss my two cents. Besides, I believe that looking at a cute kitten provides more daily fulfillment than listening to my mom babble on and on. Gosh, she is such a freak. Well, at least she did start up with teaching once again so she has that semi productive thing going, for now. But lets face it, cracking jokes in front of a room of deer in head lights freshman that will laugh at just about anything due to fear of failure is not exactly breaking a sweat for The Man, now is it? Okay, enough of this psychoanalysis shit, I got some nappage to get back to. Later, yo."

What I Learnth From My 27th....

In sticking with the theme of me being maple sapish as usual when it comes to reflecting on instances in my life throughout a year at a particular marking point (per say the year end or a b-day), I have decided once again to bore you with my personal reflection points of this gal’s 27th year of skippin around town.

I am not going to do what people normally do and state that this past year was “the best” or “the worst” year of my life. Really I think that most, although people that have exceptionally stellar or catastrophic incidents occur during the course of a year do have a strong case, just use the generic labels of the best and worst because their brains are just too lazy to think back a few. Hell, I can get on board with this because I have been know to forget what I even had for lunch the day before. Okay, enough with this disclaimer shit…. Here is the rundown…. And just to make it a bit more digestable, I am going with one reflection per post. I promise, there will not be a super large number of them either...

-I learned that you can leave a job just as easily as it can leave you-

Although I did complain for various reasons about my job at the investment company and was actively on the prowl through the want ads, I still was sort of pissed when the company dissed me along with like 400 others due to the buy out. I guess this is business babe, but it did come as a sucker punch to the kisser. However, it also taught me to go out and persue what I really wanted - oh yeah, and it also showed me again how freaking lucky/blessed I am.

Hell Ya!!!

This hoe or ho banger turns 28 today! Word to your mother, father and all your brothers and sisters!

"Here We Go Brownies, Here We Go!!"

Okay, well they did not so much "go" until Quinn came in late in the 4th (which we missed, by the way) but I still had a blast at the Browns game last night. The Lions had a mightier roar but indulging in beer and nachos makes just about any situation an instant party.



Me, Andrea, Colleen & Gina getting our game faces/drinking faces on.


They were all sold out of hot dogs (well at least at the place we went to with the super long line). I know, WTF?? So Gina settled for the hot brawt instead.

"Hey Baby, It's Summer So Put On Those Shades & Hit The Pool."

I got the chance to venture out to Lisa's (my grad. school buddy) house in Medina to hit her pool with her cutie pie kiddies - Ayden & Evelyn. We swam, we ate lunch, we laughed --- we had a blast. Good times!








P.S. I was toying with making the subject line of this "You've Come A Long Way, Baby!" but I decided to hold off on the linkage to infants and cigarette smoking. Besides, the Lucky Strikes would've been a bit cooler in the cascading water opposed to the Virginia Slims.

Okay, The Rest of Bat Night...

My bro and dad, armed with a box, entered my room and closed the door. They were going to rumble while my mom and I stayed scared in the livingroom. My mom and I heard various noises as the bat flew in circles around my bed (great). After the fact, I heard that my dad tried to better the situation by attempting to throw random pieces of my clothing at the bat and rapidly ducking as the bat got close. My crafty brother was sly enough to trap the bat but the boys soon realized that the box the bat was confined in had handle holes. Yeap, you guess it, out flew the winged friend.

Eventually, they did trap it and release it. Thank goodness for dependable and brave family members that can help you out in the middle of the night! The next day, with still no contact from maintance, I went to the leasing office to do some serious bitchin. I understand that weird crap comes up in life (oh, I fogot to disclose that there was bat poo on my walls and bed too), but the the issue that really grinds me is that there was no follow up to the situation which I regarded as a pretty fucking high priority. They finally did come out as patch up the possible entry point for the bat that my bro detected. Hopefully I will be bat free in the future! Knock on wood...

Things Gone Batty Continued....

Sorry, I took a minor hiatus from my bat story. In fact, I think I told most of my regular blog readers (the whole 4.5 of em out there) verbally about the fiasco, but for closure sake, here is the skinny of my scary black winged night flyer...

So Stewie, the wonder kitten, tipped me off that something was up in my room. After I saw the wing, I had amazingly enough freaked out sense to close my bedroom door to confine the bat. I then grabbed my cell and when to the hallway to frantically call my mom with Stew in hand. Due to my tone, she intially asked. "Are you being attacked??!!" After I told her reason for my wigging out, she said to call the 24 maintance number. I thought this would be a quick solution, however, it was false advertisement since my anxiously placed call went straight to an answering maching. WTF?

This meant I had to send in the troops. AKA: those family members with more guts than me to battle the bat -- my bro & dad.

More to come tomm. sorry, got to hit the hay!

Rides, 20 Milers, BBQs & Flying Bats

Yes, all of these things are part of my weekend. Some parts were a little more terrifying than others.

On Friday I got the priveledge of going to Cedar Point with my bro for his company outting. The park was a bit crowded and it has been a while since I went to The Point around peak season. The longest wait we had was for the Maverick (about 1 1/2 hrs.) but it was waaaaaaaay worth it. That ride kicks your ass and does not even bother to ask for your name. Despite the matching arm bruises, the ride was fantastic.

My legs were aching pretty bad after Cedar Point but I still wanted to get my 20 miler in this weekend. I pulled a long run switchero this weekend because I did not want to do 20 duty on the weekend before my b-day. This girlie has got some plans to maximize fun next weekend and minimize the milage next weekend so that is why I swapped 12 for 20 on Saturday. The run was actually not too bad and I started to feel better as the run went on. I also got Lynn to buddy up with me for 8 of it. Later that night I got the reward of attend a good bbq at Alicia's parents' house (she was house sitting). The food was good and the big dogs all (labs, doodles and such) all played together smashingly.

When I got home on Saturday, I started reading on the couch because I was not sleepy yet. As I was reading, I started hearing werid stirs in the direction of my room. At first, I thought it was being caused by random kids in the hallway. However, as Stewie and I inched closer to my bedroom door, I saw a black wing fly by. It was a freakin bat! A black bat flying around in my bedroom!

More on this, I promise. Yes, the bat saga will continue in my next post.

Because Instead Of Grading Final Essays, Like I Should Be Doing, I Am Instead Going To Parade You With This Crap...

When I went to the vet last week so Stewie could receive his next round of "kitten" shots, Dr. Soma said that he was a "solid little guy". I think this is the polite way of stating that I might potentially have a soon to be fat cat on my hands. He is pretty hyper so he might be burning off some of that baby fat. But even if he does not, I can still be a chubby lover. Enlight of his situation though, I have adopted yet another name for the little dude. His most recent nicknames include "Beef Stew" or "Beefy Stewie". Feel free to address him as so when you come to visit. I think he is still a little too young to develop a complex about the name calling.

Hmmmmm.....

Beowulf is coming out soon. Dare I make peace with the literary masterpiece that haunted me during my senior year of high school? I think I still have that group video around here somewhere. Shit, that thing took waaaaay too many hours to make.

School Daze

Cleveland public school are now enforcing standard uniform wear for the elementary & high school kiddies. Now how the hell am I suppose to tell the difference between the nice, sweet private school brats and the tough drug pushin public school thugs?

Past the Half Way Point of 2007....

Okay, I know that the month of June was actually the half way spot of 2007, but I failed to Carpe Diem that shit and instead I am going to work this blog posting now. I guess I was too preoccupied with writing about issues such as:

Monkey Mayhem


corn roasting


me drunkenly strumming my guitar



my bitchen kitten




instead of covering this. Yeah, I got those priorities in order. Okay, nuff with the bull crap, here is some of the best junkage that has gone on around me in 2007 so far.

Best dvd rental: Half Nelson. Ryan Gosling earned an Oscar nom. for his role as an inner city elementary history teacher trying to kick a nasty drug habit while attempting to keep his students honest. I don't think he could've played it better/ more believable and he definitely showed why he blows all the other male twenty-something actors (Josh Hartnett, Ashton Kutcher just to name a two) out of the Hollywood waters.

Best In Cinema View: The Namesake. Few film experiences have blown my mind like this film did, and I did not even read the book yet. A perfect plot, character development and climatic rising made me develop a new found thirst for knowledge of India.

Best new song ruined by stupid Jay-Z doing his rap thing: Amy Winehouse's Rehab. I love the soul and jazz effect that resembles a tune that could be blaring in a 1940's jazz club in St. Louis. Why did rap have to wreck a version of this great grandparents' age slice of retro?

Best worst relationship break up line: "You're a pain in the ass during the week and a pain in the ass during the weekend.". I know, ouch! However, the girl this was said to is as sweet as pie and funny as all hell. We laugh about it, even months later. We also find humor in the fact that the guy that said it is a tool shed that is most likely not getting laid.

Best worst excuse: "The cocaine in my jeans was there because I borrowed the pants. The crack was not mine." Thanks Miss Lohan. I think we all needed a good laugh. For some reason I doubt she really buys into that Sisterhood of the traveling pants ideology, but hey, ya never know.

Best example of when to use the words "I am fucking freezing.": 2/17/07 For MaryAnn & Paul's wedding we took pictures outside the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. I think it was a brisk 19 degrees that day. Did I mention the Rock Hall is almost in lake Erie, and the bridesmaids had strapless dresses and sandals on? Oh, and the photographer Nazi had to get that "just right" picture. Burrr baby, burr!!

The best question that I can think of to ask a female singer: "Who hurt you so badly Miss Kelly Clarkson?" You seem like a nice girl; want me to kick his ass for you? Her tone, her lyrics, her hard as nails stare down all signal that you don't want to be the next fellow to break her heart. It's okay Kelly, you'll find him some day, but until that time, keep rockin & rollin.


Okay, there might be more to come with this because I had some fun with this post. Got to get back to administering the final exam, I noticed a few wandering eyes...