Dear Pluto:
I heard the news recently and I am so sorry. What's the deal with those science nerds? Now they have successfully completed their mission to assign you as a "dwarf planet". To steal a saying from one of former my co-workers, "That ain't right". And truly it is not. I mean they let you into their elitist planet club as recent as 1930 only to give you the boot a mere 76 years later. The nerve of them.
On the bright side, we did notice that some loyal backers of yours left some beautiful parting gifts near your stand in the Rocky River Metro Parks. My personal fav. was the retirement balloon and the bottle of beer. I hope the alcohol will help to ease your pain when facing this time of harsh rejection.
Pluto, in a way, I can identify with you this week. UBS has decided to give most of us in Operations the boot within the next few months. No I have not been in orbit here for 76 odd years (a mere 2 1/2 for me) but I still now see the harsh reality of feeling "not in the club". Instead of science nerds, I feel the need to be pissed at business men/women who wear suits costing more than my rent, monthly car payment and student loan payments combined. Oh well, what can you do? I would not even know where to start in order to find these people to confront them just like you have no power to open a can of whoop ass on the nerdy, pocket protector possessing, I am guessing still virgin scientists that demoted your planetary status. Looks like we are left coming back to that beer option. Pluto, for the time being, I would be honored to buy you a Bud or two.
For the time being, Hang in there Pluto. It is best that we stick together during challenging times such as this. In the meantime, don't sell yourself short or "too small" because heavens knows I am not doing that for myself!
Best of Luck,
Risko
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