Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Some Random Things I Said I Would Not Do But Ended Up Doing....

~ I am working at a bank/investment firm. I dread attempting to balance my own checkbook and now I deal with other folks' money all day long. Who would've thunk it, eh?

~ I am going to run The Boston Marathon this Spring. I said if I ever qualified I would never actually run it because qualifying would be enough of a thrill. I guess it is true that we always seem to want a little more.

~ I fell head over heels for someone that was completely wrong for me. I said that I never would but I just could not help it. I next proceeded to fall out of love, hated them, loved them again and then ended up being friends with that same person. Dizzy yet? I sure was...

~ I purchased multiple tickets to a country music concert and attended it with my friends. And no, I think you may have only needed a light jacket or maybe a thin sweater for the weather in hell that day. It did not completely freeze over, yet.

Monday, February 27, 2006

You Know You Are/Were An English/Writing Major Snob When...

# You silently cringe when a person uses double negatives in a sentence.

# You desire to reach out and slap a person (typically female) when she lists at least two N. Sparks books on her personal all-time favorite list.

# You are unable to watch any type of television show or movie without applying some type of critical theory to it.

# You are immensely angered that theatres showing independent films are not closer to where you live.

# You have an unhealthy obsession with Boggie Nights. You appreciate it for more than a full-frontal of Marky Mark and a long boob shot of Julianne Moore. To you, it is a cinematic masterpiece that created a paradigm movie making shift for both screen writing and directing. However, for the other lovers of the film, it is appreciated as being easily accessible "soft" porn.

# You have the tendency to piss off your non English/Writing Major friends because you frequently voice your opinion and they frequently do not give a rat's a$$.

# You tend to psychoanalysis just about every aspect of your relationships and it comes as a big shocker when you discover that other people do not practice this tedious business.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I Want The 21 Year Old Me That I Vetoed At 21

My wish/newly desired focused mind set is to have the 21 year old college student mentality that I passed up on when I had that opportunity. Unfortunately, I always feel that I was both too passionate about people and events in my life when I was 21 until those point. I guess some times it was for the grand good but it also was alot of effort and sometimes heartbreak.

Now that I am inching toward 27 I am coming to the resolution that I want that 21 year old mind set back again. I want to have alot of fun and not worry so much about consequences or the problems of those around me. I want to be a distant concerned. I want to care a little when you are happy and be semi sad a when you are disappointed. But all in all, keep it mainstream, nothing that leads my emotions too far out of line.

I want to have fun and laugh. I want to focus on meeting new people and focus on new opportunities. I want me to realize that the sky can still be the limit.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Risko, Meet Your New Zen...

I used to fly off the handle almost instantaneously when I got mad. Yelling screaming, hitting things (never people, just hard things) even sometimes crying was my way. I guess I just have a short fused temper that becomes ignited very easily. I wasted so much energy on raging against things that were, many times, insignificant. A quote that I remembered recently that really helped me to put things into perspective, "He or she that controls you anger, controls you." How true that is. And if that fails there is always the old standby of - "Give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves." Yet another solid piece of advice. Both of these quotes preach a lesson of sitting back and keeping a peaceful/easy feeling.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Rudy Syndrome

I owe this idea partially to my old advisor and current friend, Dr. Kelly (K-Lowe) Lowe. Back during my senior year of college I took a Sport & American Culture class with him. I know what you non-English majors are thinking and no it was not a blow off class and not we did not just sit around watching old sporting events or sports related movies.

One of the assignments called for us to watch a sports related movie (okay, so we did do a little of that) and write a critical analysis on how the movie reflects upon a specific segment of our American Culture. As you would imagine, there were mixed reviews from the class upon learning of the assignment. Some complained about having to apply the effort of both watching and dissecting a film (got to love those overachievers!) and some were eager to apply their critical thinking skills and uncover underlying meaning in a popular sports related movie.

Kelly was pretty open about which movie we could choose but he did have one important word of advice for us to adhere to: The following is paraphrased since it has been about 5 years since the class - "Whatever you do, please do not choose Rudy because no matter how hard you try to dissect the movie it will be impossible for you to be impartial." His message was that inevitably you will become tranced by your love of the movie and the underlying message of the underdog finally getting his moment in the sun will cloud your judgment as a critic. No matter how many obvious flaws you see in the film, you will still come away being "ga ga" for Rudy and this optimism will negatively reflect in your writing

After watching Rudy a few times since Kelly's class I have learned how true it is. Tearing apart Rudy is difficult if not impossible for many. Who doesn't get a warm feeling from the cheesy ending?

I also thinking "The Rudy Syndrome" can be put into play when dealing with people. Case in point, particularly family members or friends that you keep giving second, third and even fourth chances to. No matter how hard you may try, you just can't seem to stop from romanticizing over past events and ignoring the many faults or times that they have hurt you. Perhaps those few flashes of generosity or caring they once showed you overrule the multiple technical flaws that they have. The good points are the main reason why you keep them in your life similar to the reason why you will watch the movie Rudy again and again.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Back Bar Days.... The Second Installment

One has to operate under the cool customer mentality when you are bartending because you are in fact selling to the customers. This reverse might be a little hard to follow but it is true - you are selling your personality to those that visit your establishment. The bartender is selling their smile, their genuine look of concern and occasional advice to the people that come in for the main purpose of alcoholic enjoyment. The bartender's livelihood depends on tips so the better they "work it" the better the compensation has the potential to be. Many times the key to their success is being able to, even if only for a few brief moments, relate to the patron.

This concept of being able to "click" with others is so pertinent in life. The more I live, the more I learn how vital it is to be able to connect with others. You are more likely to gain their trust easier. Some can fake it but most need to work at it. It takes practice but the benefits that you receive are far worth the effort.

Back Bar Days.... The First Installment

Recently, I was talking with one of my friends about childhood experiences. I won't go into any detail because I, better than most, respect the dignity of privacy especially concerning family issues. The general gist is that my friend considered it to be nothing short of a miracle that her and her siblings not only survived their childhood but actually managed to turn into stable and flourishing adults. Hearing some of the stories about her and how she raised her younger sisters, I am just as amazed as she is and applaud the strength to rise above turmoil.

Even more fascinating for me is hearing the stories of the past and hearing about what each individual takes away from their unique life experiences. Seeing how these snapshots follow us through life and in turn, both leading us to curse and praise the activities that make up a specific timeline of our lives is interesting and eye opening work.

I had a conversation this weekend with another friend where I discussed spending a few years very closely linked with a bar. It was for a couple years during my childhood when my mom worked at a local Polish bar and hall. She rented out the hall and my family helped to clean it after weddings. Next to the hall there was a bar where I used to hang out while my mom showed the hall to perspective clients. While in the bar area, the bartender would keep me supplied with gingerales and cokes from the spray gun and old veterans (the bar was associated with the VFWs) would pull quarters out from under my ear and ask me general questions about grade school. They never considered it awkward and I was too young and innocent to think it was not typical.

I don't tell many people about this part of my life because quite frankly when you mention the words children and bar in the same sentence most immediately draw pictures of inadequate parenting or think that child services should've been informed of this in the late eighties/early nineties. It takes alot of time to really examine how my time spent there shaped me into the person that I am today and why some memories that would probably be rough to many are considered fond to myself. I also don't tell many people because usually I do not like to talk about myself or my feelings. Now don't let me confuse the issue, I love to talk and I adore joking around with others, but normally I hate to dig below the surface when it comes to me.

I once had a friend tell me that she would get off the phone with me (our conversations would typically last 30-40mins) feeling that she told so much about herself and would hit the end button of her cell hearing the bare minimum about me or the day I had. I never saw a problem with that. In fact, I preferred it that way. The ironic thing is that the one time I needed her the most was the time she was not available. She said, perhaps not really sensing my urgency, that she would give me a call back after dinner. I am still waiting for that phone call. But maybe she is at one of those places that serves multiple courses, and is open 24/7. A trendy postmodern restaurant where patrons can sit for hours, days, or even weeks without being pushed out of the doors. I am still waiting, perhaps she is still dining?

Although, I guess that it really does not matter now since that emotional vulnerability window has long since closed and we would just be once again back to me listening and asking the questions to defer from myself. Maybe if she would've called me back that night, or even the next day, I would've told her about the back bar days of my childhood? I guess we'll both never know. But all in all, I am cool with that. Because the bartender is always cool with the situation. As Joan Didion phrased it "one cool customer." I shall discuss the bartenders coolness in tomorrow's post...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Fricken Freezin, Yo!!!!!!!!

So early Saturday morning Jen and I fought the bitter cold and completed in the Chili Bowl 5k (the race bears the name because it offers its participations a steaming bowl of chili upon completion). However, with Saturday morning's temps barely inching out of the single digits I think the F*cking Idiot Bowl would've been a more appropriate name for the race.

Despite the harsh weather conditions, about 500 participants braved the wind and snow to race through the streets of Westlake. I was happy to see some of my other running buddies such as Elizabeth and Brian also ventured out to the race. It is nice to see the crazy loves company. I am amazed that Jen and Elizabeth ran so well for the conditions. During the "warmup" (seems a little inappropriate to use that word) I had a hunch that it was going to be a rough one because my spit was actually freezing before hitting the ground. It certainly was tough. Perhaps the only race worse weather wise was The Hermes 10 Miler this past April. Who would've thought that a freak snow storm would pound Cleveland so hard in the middle of April?

The forecast looks a little warmer toward the end of the week. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my lungs don't have to freeze up anymore this winter!

Friday, February 17, 2006

This Week Had Some Great Quotes...

Damn, I got some funny peeps around me!


Rhonda: "It all comes back to legs of lamb & hot tubs"
Ahhhhh, so right she is!

A Co-Worker The Shall Remain Nameless Because She Would Kill Me If I Revealed Her Name: "There is a pubic hair on the fax machine & it is not mine!!"
Okay, did she really need to put that disclaimer in at the end?

Jen: ""sorry I flunked the necessary exam and now you have to fire me.....but I do know everything that is happening with LA's gayest."
She is preparing to take the 66 exam for her new career position and recently I introduced her to The L Word. Well, like so many, she has become hooked. Studying has taken a backseat to the lovely lesbians of Showtime. Okay, we are going to have to limit her to one episode per night. Not 5 back to back!

Lisa: "I want to have a ball. Not a gala, but a party where everything is in the shape of a ball. We can have meatballs, ball melons.... Even remove all the furniture and have everyone sit on those exercise balls."
She is a new friend that is already making me laugh so freakin hard!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Ramblings Of Mamma....

Tonight, when Jen and I were on our 8ish mile run we talked a little about quotes. It is hard for me not to bring up my mom when I reflect on memorable quotes because she has had some doosies over the years. There have been so many that have stumbled from her lips but tonight I had a hard time recalling many. Right now I am wishing that I would've written them down or at least tried hard to commit them to memory.

I do love my mom. She has done amazing things for me over my life. However, she has a knack for sometimes saying absolutely perplexing things. Throughout my life her words have wisdom have both pissed me off and left me completely confused at times. The following is a brief sampling with my attempt at explaining either her rational or the situation that made her express her statement.

"Be careful, there is ice on ice"--- She told this to Jen & I before we went out running on a particularly slippery winter day. I know that running on ice can be tricky but I am still not sure what the hell constitutes as "ice on ice"

"I had a coupon for that place."--- My mom frequently enjoys reprimanding me if I dine at an establishment without consulting her for possible coupons. To her, the failure to save a $1.00 on a burger is a mortal sin.

"We know you can run a full marathon, why do you need to run these 20 mile training runs?"--- She told me this last week enlight of my current training for Boston. I do not think that I will be asking her for potential training advice anytime soon.

"You might catch gay at the Elton John concert."--- I know there have been studies done concerning environment & genetics but I am not sure if scientists have investigated the link between listening to Captain Fantastic and then switching teams.

"Ichi mamma's bubba"--- I guess you have to hear her say it to get the full effect but she sometimes says this to the dog and cat. I have no idea why or what it mean but the pets seem to like it.

"Will this be your last marathon? Why do you keep running?"--- She asked this after Chicago, ran three more and still going strong.

"She seems kind of stuck up. She never talks to us (meaning herself & my dad)."--- I used to think that Italian grudges were the worst but I am beginning to think that her Polish scorn is up there. My mom is pretty firm with her judgements of my friends. If she likes them, she tells me and if she doesn't than she tells me, constantly. It does bother me alot but I also have to admit that eventually, even though it may take some time, she turns out to be dead on with her evaluations.

"You are almost done!!"--- She screamed this to me during mile 2 of a 10,000 meter race at Mount Union. The race is over 6 miles long. Wrong thing to say at that time. Did I also mention that she has the sort of voice that can sometimes bend steel?

"Your ambition has extremely exceeded your ability. I had my doubts at one time that you would be able graduate from high school but you have exceeded beyond my greatest dreams. I am so proud of what you have accomplished. You are so disciplined."--- I thought I would end this post on a good note because for every goofy thing she says there are also the times that she truly shines and says exactly the perfect things. There is never a dull moment with her and that is why I love her.

What Is This Guy's Beef? Perhaps A Case of The Jitters Or Adult ADD???

What is up with that guy that sits behind me? One would think that being an office temp would mean that you would be on your best possible work hour behavior. Logically corporate sense should indicate that he would be refraining from smoke breaks as much as possible and only hitting the restroom when necessary. I would also think that taking random walking loops around the office in order to loosen one's legs would be all together eliminated, even when faced with potential cramping or leg slumber. However, this is not the case. I vowed to start keeping a running tally of how many times this guy gets up to do random, non-work related explorations but I am too busy with my own work or pretending to work. Perhaps tomorrow I will work on assembling some type of Power Point presentation in order to show just how unproductive he really is during his 8 hour day...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

happy valentines day!!!!

I wish a happy V-Day to you all. If you are in love, I hope that you celebrate it. And if you are not in love than I hope you can take solace in at least a form of unrequited lust! Whatever float your boat!

Monday, February 13, 2006

I Heart Nicknames...

Back when I was in college we heavily believed in the use of nicknames. We had nicknames for multiple individuals and most of the time they were not endearing names. Yes, I must admit that we constantly made fun of others behind their backs. I know, not the most mature or kind thing to do, but we were naive, in college and alcohol strongly influenced our better judgment. Many times I did not initiate the given nickname. See, I am not that cruel! Mostly because I was not that clever with bestowing the mockery. However, I did contribute to its usage as opposed to reprimanding others for their verbal slander. Here are just a few names that come to mind: the sea donkey from across the way, the crying giant, Harley, Picasso, water boy, hair, pizza boyfriend, chapter 2, Skeletor. I know that some of my friends from college can probably chime in with additions.

Last week at work I was delighted to hear that the same practice of nicknames is also used in my office. This puts a smile on my face. I was beginning to think that being in the corporate world meant having to put an end to such childish games.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Up Points of A Day...

Considering the past week I have had of sadness and inner dilemmas, I must say that today was quite stellar. Nothing absolutely fabulous happened today but it was just one of those days when little pleasant events added up to make for a an upbeat Sunday.

~ Got to sleep in. I am struggling to remember the last time that I got to sleep in before this morning so I am thinking that it has been way too long. I was a little lazy last Sunday but my rest kept getting interrupted (phones, bathroom, helicopters etc.) I must confess, I heart the weekend shut eye.

~ Had an excellent meal at The Texas Roadhouse to celebrate my mom's b-day that is approaching this Tuesday. I also have the leftovers to look forward to tomorrow for lunch : )

~ My running shoes were marked down on clearance at Dicks. Who doesn't love saving a little dough?

~ Last, but certainly not least, I got to get some quality writing in today.

I hope that all of you had equally fulfilling Sundays!

Monday, February 06, 2006

What We Value The Most....

I have been quite lazy with my blogging recently. I seem to have let marathon training & socializing get the better of my leisure hours. However, I think it is time to once again get back to reflecting. The last two posts I composed had to do with The Oscars. I do intend on returning back to discussing my predictions but for today I would like to get off the subject of movies and turn to the topic of qualities that we find to be most important.

These can be particular qualities that you strive to possess or virtues that you look for in people you choose to associate with. This mini commentary takes me back to this fall when I had my students do a similar exercise where they took a specific quality and examined both the positives and negatives of it. For example, having a willingness to do just about anything for someone can give you the reputation as being a generous friend by on the other side of the coin, it can also leave you open to being taken advantage of by others who assume that your good will is never ending.

I began to think about different traits that I aspire to have and those that I feel make great friends. There were many that crossed my mind but here are just 3ish and my rationalizations on why these traits are so important...

~ Consistency & Approachability: This might seem like a very easy and effortless concept but in this ever changing world, it is tough to find people that stay firm in your life. Also, it is difficult to be friends with someone that seems pissed off just about everytime that you talk to them. Chances are is not your fault most of the time but after a while, their negativity might start to wearoff on you.

~ A sense of humor: My true amigos are the ones that I can call anywhere (may it be work or home) and say "What's up whore?" or "What's up pimp daddy" and they will not find it strange or immature. They respect the fact that laughing occasionally is good for you.

~ The inability to harness arrogance/not looking down on others: I know, odd wording for this one but it is a perplexing state of mind to have. It is good to be proud of things in your life. It is healthy and I believe that it increases your faith. However, it is best not to let it get out of hand. I hate people that think they are better than others. Many times I have seen people being snobs when they have no reason to be. No one likes a stuck up and chances are that everyone is talking about you as soon as you walk away.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

My Blog, My Predictions. And You Better Like It, Damn It!!! Part 2

Okay, today I'll tackle the category of Leading Actress. I like the nice mix this year of the young, the versatile and the film royalty.

I feel bad because I am a huge fan of Dame Judi Dench but it seems that her smaller films can't hold up to the money grabbers just about every time that she receives a nom. I give Huffman alot of credit for taking on such a gutsy role and I simply adore her and her hubby William H. When it comes to Keira what can I say? She's a hottie. I even recall my friend Rhonda and I walking out of a theater one time and seeing some type of gigantic movie poster for some sort of King Arthur flick (the title escapes me). Well, it had Keira in some type of scandalous flimsy warrior dressing. We both looked at each other and made the comment that "Yeah, we'd do her." lol! Okay, I think she had to be close to 17 at the time so it quickly made the situation go from bad to worse but she is a cute actress that pulls alot off with just a smile and wink of her eye. However, I know I am not only speaking for myself when I say enough with the Austen crap. Of all the huge novels out there, please, please, please, find something else to adapt! Theron was awesome in North Country but I am not sure if she could pull off the win for a playing two down and dirty parts (Monster - although I mean dirty in this case as psychotic prostitute serial killer grungy). But then again, Swank was able to do it twice (once as a transexual & once as a tomboy). She adapted to blue collar well in a movie that I think would've received more buzz if it came out closer to The Oscars. And I save the best, and I believe the soon to be winner, for last. Reese is great. She even makes her ditzy roles endearing. She simply shined in Walk The Line and I think Phoenix owes alot of his hype to her quality performance. It is about time that she took home an Academy Award.