1.) Drink out of a mini penis straw (CHECK).
2.) Sing a horrible version of Linda Ronstadt's "Long, Long Time." Although, I did give the bar patrons a fore warning that it was going to be bad because I am tone deaf but I do love that song. Regardless, ma and pa would've been proud because they have been fans of the Queen of the Blue Bayou for decades. I also was supported by a back up dancer and my friends doing the fake lighter sway (CHECK).
3.) Attempt to play mediator between Roxy and heavy set local bar lady because her boy friend showed Roxy his penis on her territory. "Sorry Miss. You are being a good sport. I know we are being loud and annoying but we will be gone after a few songs and then you can go about resuming your "I love this bar" mentality after we have moved on to a new local bar for a few drinks (CHECK).
4.) Get asked by a creepy and overly hairy man in a tank top to remove my bra and hang it with the rest of the intimate trophies on the wall of fame. Sorry man, it is a Victoria Secret and my amount of fabric can't hold a flame to some of the double Ds sported up there (CHECK: or maybe this does not count as a check since I decided to decline and keep my girls supported for the rest of the evening)
5.) Drink a Bud Light way too fast and feel an instant "I'm gonna hurl wave" (CHECK).
6.) Contacts, glasses... Still hot stuff (CHECK).
7.) Discuss thesis subjects with another English Lit geek while feeling a good buzz from a cherry bomb shot (CHECK).
8.) Get sassed by the McDonalds drive-thru worker while attempting to get fries for a car load of greasy food craving ladies (CHECK).
9.) Break the seal and have to pee alot (CHECK).
10.) Avoid the next day hang over syndrome by taking a vitamin B complex prior to drinking (CHECK : )).
1 comment:
sounds like a wild time!
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