Only I Really Could....

A conversation that I had last weekend with some friends prompted me to generate this post. Some are pretty basic and some are a little laced with oddity.

The Only I Really Could List....

^ Run a race an end up breaking, not a foot bone, but an elbow bone.

^ Spend 3 years of my career working at an investment company when my lowest grades have notoriously been in the subject of mathematics. Oh yeah, I have dyslexia as well.

^ Decide when Roxy and I were throwing a surprise b-day party for Alicia that using the "cover" that she was going to be attending a tuperwear party would be a believable excuse. Okay, I should have thought of the following things before telling her that: Who the hell still attends tupperwear parties after 1988 and why would her and her 26 year old friends be excited by the idea of it on a Saturday night??

^ Gain in the range of 12 lbs of fatty fattness while briefly dating a vegetarian. And bear in mind, this was a healthy, ate lots of veggies and fruits type vegetarian as well.

^ Be unable to find my own car keys, which have many random key chains making the set quite noticable from outter space, on my kitchen table yet be able to locate my friend in a sea of 40, 000 plus people during the constant movement of the 2003 Chicago Marathon.

^ Own and wear a circa 1989 Kraft Cheesasaurus Rex shirt (that you had to obtain by accumulating a freakishly high number of Proof of Purchases. I probably sacrificed an artery or two in the process) in 2001, wear it after track practice in the campus cafeteria and then glance across the tables to notice another student also wearing that exact shirt. Now that shit is more rare than winning the fucking lotto.



^ Be so acronym challenged that I actually thought, and then further stupidly mentioned to a friend, that the term T & A was actually DNA. Sidenote: This lingo mishap event, which first surfaced in a hotel pool in Hollywood Beach Florida in 2001 has over the years been the showcase of periodical taunting. Such classic rips at my blunder have included... "Look at her. She looks like a nice piece of DNA! (insert laughter from my college friend "AKA Jen" and eye roll from me).


^ This sort of goes with one I already touched upon but what the hell.... Injure/break/need stitches in different parts of my body, but all predominately on my left side.

^ Think that I could drunkenly chase down my car as it was being towed down Detroit Rd. in Lakewood. Yeah, like that a-hole that rigged it up was going to slow down for my stumbling ass. However, a few minutes later I thought it was great logic to call the parking attendant a "dumb fuck head" for calling for the tow. Yeah, like that was going to do any good or fix my current car impounding delema.

^ Suffer a life long defect from The Taco Bell.
The much needed 411 on this event: On my 21st b-day, we had a party at the house of JP, Prej and Booher. I remember being tanked and of course that prompted the great alcohol inspired idea that I needed some TB. After making a classic Taco Bell run (which it actually was a foot race), the drunkness caused me and one of my roomies to drop our fast food knock off Mexican goodness. Not seeing anything wrong with our logic, we laughed uncontrollably and plopped to the floor to enjoy. I must have slammed a little too hard because I cracked my shin. It hurt a bit at the time but the "Fire and Ice" shots masked the pain at the time (not so much the next morning though). To this day, I still have a mini indent in the center section of my left shin. Ask me nice and I might let you check it out.