Does Everything Really Work Out The Way That It Is Suppose To?

This past weekend, two of my friends brought this subject line up to me. They did it as a playful interjecting onto my own life since so often I had chimed in with the infamous, "Everything happens for a reason" or "It will all work out in the end" when they were going through various trying times in their lives. As true with so many situations in life, having to walk in someone else's shoes and really examining your own advice does make you take a good hard look at yourself. After contemplating on the advice that I had so freely and dime a dozen given out over the years, I wonder if I was actually doing something more than giving poor cliche' advice. I wonder if I was, in fact, simply lying.

Lets put under the microscope the first, "Everything happens for a reason." Yes, but that is so (as my grad. School advisor Dr. Karem would say) broad of an assumption. It does not begin to take into account that so many people have selfish motives and that those desires can affect them and so many people in the surrounding areas. Sometimes those "reasons" the quote names can be obvious when it turns out to be a happy ending. Case in point, a person who was running late because they could not find their keys which caused them to miss the train. While aggravated and waiting for the next train, she encounters a handsome man that later becomes her husband. A valid argument can be made by romantics or anyone that looks for the silver lining, that misplacing her keys caused her to find the love of her life. However, on the flip side, it is tough to see that everything happens for a reason when it involves tragically sudden death or financial hardships. Those are the times that a strict clear cut answer is demanded but can few times be issued.

The second one, ah, my old stand by (how did my friends ever not punch me in the eye for this one?), "It will all work out in the end." Well, in my defense, I always was a person that would skip to the last few pages of the book to read the ending before starting and I would prefer to hear the ending of a film before viewing. Despite the fact that I know how thrilling surprises are and how few there are in this world, I always like to rush ahead. I love giving surprises but very few times getting them. As I have become older, I think this state or shall I say, choice of mind, has become more frequent and until I find a way to go back and bottle that "instant awe" that I had when I was 5, I think I will continue to be fast forwarding to the conclusions. Well, in my defense, I guess I can say that it at least better prepares me. But if so much of life is dependent on our personal decisions than how do we know for sure that everything will "work out" in the end. And what exactly does "work out" even translate to?

I am a big believer in God and faith. I have been for as long as I can remember. Catholic schooling planted the seeds and personal experiences helped to grow and strengthen it. Despite my sometime nihilistic attitude, I do believe that God cares and is watching. The struggle that I have is that if we are given free-will how can we make sure that those free-will decisions are making things "work out" in the end for each person?

Lets face it, very few of us actually have the courage to say what we really want to in situations for fear of rejection, looking arrogant or just looking stupid. It is safer to harbor those feelings and just hope that you will get what you so deeply want. Example, how many of us have struggled with confessing to someone that they are in love with them but for fear of so many real and even imaginary consequences, they decide it better to not release their truth. What if saying something could've made things "work out" for the better in future? Guess many will never know. However, there is also the reality that confessing would lead to disaster and conflict with both parties having things "work out" in the end. What about those that take new jobs because they desire change or stay at the old ones because the comfort factors are priority to them. How do we know for sure that things really will work out in the end based on our decisions whether grand or small?

I brought a lot up here and I know that many points I touched on are rhetorical. I guess the main thesis that I have come to through my self exploration of sayings I repeat is to examine them more closely before speaking. Or, as my many English teachers would warn me to do, "make sure you research and back it up with evidence before you present!"