Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Jewish Version of My Mom



My home girl Stephanie in the library at school let me borrow volumes 1 & 2 of Amy's Answering Machine Messages. The hysterical answering machine messages from Amy's overly cautious, borderline schizo mom. The first disk had me laughing so hard yesterday in my car that I was literally in tears. No topic is too taboo for this wonder mom: the weather, common colds, sheep skin condoms, quality Jewish rye bread. For a hearty laugh, you at best be checking it out!

For a sample of some of the goods, check out the site: http://www.sendamy.com/

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Because I Heart (Parentheses) As Much As The Next Sap On The Street

Hi Gang (or at least the 3.4 people that read this on occasion):

I hope you have all been well. I know, there has been a drought concerning the recent posts on this blog. I apologize for that (but really, who should I be apologizing to?). Anyway, I don't have a good valid excuse for my absentee nature. I had a nice fat holiday break from teaching (you know
the one that I used to get freak nasty pissy about when my teacher friends were maxin & relaxin and I was working the grind at the good old investment company). I hope that santa was kind to you. I got no complaints for the bearded dude this year.
For all of those that are curious about what I was up to, here is a list of some events I am pretty sure many of you cannot lay claim to having partaken in (listed in no particular order of importance):


~ Watched half of season 1 of Dawson's Creek

~ Had horrid food poisoning or stomach flu (still up for debate) that had me laying in the fetal position in my bathroom floor

~ Saw a drag king show

~ Almost adopted a one eyed kitten at the pet store

~ Half ass cleaned my place

I am sure there are more boring details, but nothing is coming to mind at this time...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

People That Need To Go Away In The New Year: The 2008 Edition

I have completed the research papers and now on to the final exams. My brain needs to shift gears so I thought a blog posting would be appropriate to spread some holiday complaining. 'Tis the season.....



Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Oh go heavens, how does she even manage to still hold a spot on a talk show? Well, considering it is The View, I guess I answered that question already. Such a hyper Red-State conservative, such an annoying voice, such an sassy Mrs. Priss who would be a verifiable no name without the namesake of her overrated hubby. If we can't get her completely out of the media than she needs to at least be confided to print.
Oh yeah, she also spells her name in that pretentious way. Yet another point to tally on to the list...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Candidate For The Head Honcho Spot?

Hey, University of Michigan, have you tried giving this guy a buzz? I doubt he is very busy these days and he did know how to make the The Big Blue win.


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Awe, Come On Now!

So SNL has there "Family Thanksgiving Leftovers Special" yesterday and they fail to show the BEST Thanksgiving skit EVER. I searched YouTube to show those that have been living in a cave and have not viewed it but YouTube left me empty handed.

I am guessin that you are smelling the skit that I am reheating. You know, the Air Supply spoof with the big haired soft guys jammin to their "Holiday Love" song. Ahhh, that's good shit. SNL, you let me down!

I hope you and yours had a happy turkey day!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Oh Lance...

Well, my original intent was to construct an open letter to Lance Armstrong inquiring about his recent rompage with a Miss Ashley Olsen, but as we all know, the picts tend to speak a little louder than the diction these days....


Lance: 1987

P.S. I dig the dude in the "ever so tight" zebra speedo charging out of the open waters...


Ashley: 1987

Monday, November 12, 2007

See it, now!



Ben can't act, luckily his little bro can do the deed. I will throw the Bean Town boy a bone: he can adapt a screenplay like no one's business and direct the pants off of any scene....

It was a movie that made me think more than any other film I can recently recall. I have to warn you that parents, esp. those with the little tikes, might have a difficult time stomaching some scenes involving unsavory child treatment, but if you can grimace past those moments, you are in for an inspiring ride. It embraces the culminating excitement of Crash.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Because Healthy 28 Year Old Elite Athletes Are Not Suppose To Go Down Like This...

'So tragic': Michigander Ryan Shay dies during race
Runner's death mars competition - Dedicated Shay had enlarged heart, dad says
November 4, 2007

BY JO-ANN BARNAS

FREE PRESS SPORTS WRITER

NEW YORK -- They didn’t speak at the starting line Saturday, in the anxious moments before the U.S. Olympic men’s marathon trials. But just three days earlier, Ryan Shay had let Clint Verran in on a secret.

“He had gotten married over the summer, and I could tell how happy he was,” Verran said of Shay, 28, who grew up in Central Lake, about halfway between Traverse City and Petoskey. “And he looked great — the leanest I had ever seen him, which was a good sign heading into the marathon. I told him that I heard he was dominating with his running group in Flagstaff (Ariz.). But he started talking about moving back to Michigan. He looked at me with a smile and said, ‘I’d be back if it was up to me.’”


Shay, one of the state's top distance runners and the 2003 U.S. marathon champion, died Saturday morning after collapsing about 5 1/2 miles into the trials race in Central Park. He was immediately given CPR, according to USA Track & Field. He transported by ambulance to Lenox Hill Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 8:46 a.m., said Mary Wittenberg, president of the New York Road Runners.

No cause of death was released, but Joe Shay, Ryan’s father and high school coach, told the Free Press on Saturday night that doctors thought his son suffered cardiac arrest and had died “before he hit the ground.”

Joe Shay said his son had been diagnosed with a larger than normal heart at 14, after a bout of pneumonia, and again at 16, after an auto accident. Shay said doctors in San Diego last spring told his son that he might need a pacemaker in the future. Shay also said his son had a resting pulse rate of 25, less than half that of a normal adult.

“What made him such a great runner,” Shay said, “was probably what killed him.”

Shay’s coach, Joe Vigil, said Shay had no health problems going into the race. The weather at Central Park was breezy and cool, in the middle 40s, almost perfect conditions for a 26.2-mile race.

At the 5K split, Shay appeared to be in perfect position. He needed 16:53 to cover those 3.1 miles, a 5:26-per-mile pace. He was in 21st place, 33 seconds behind the leader but only three seconds behind fourth-place Kyle O’Brien and fifth-place Brian Sell, who, like Verran, run for the Hansons-Brooks Distance Project based in Rochester Hills.

About two miles later, still in the main pack of runners, Shay hit the ground near the Central Park boathouse, a popular Manhattan tourist spot.

An autopsy was planned.

“I want a toxicology report done,” Joe Shay said, “because I don’t want anybody ever saying Ryan used drugs.”

In the close-knit community of distance running — particularly among world-class marathoners — Shay’s death was met by profound sadness and disbelief.

Most runners began learning of the tragedy shortly after crossing the finish line.

The three runners who earned berths onto the U.S. Olympic team for the 2008 Beijing Games — a group that included second-place Dathan Ritzenhein, a native of Rockford, and third-place Sell, who lives in Rochester Hills — all had ties to Shay.
At the postrace news conference, Sell broke down and cried, burying his head in his hands.

“I’d trade my Olympic spot in a split second to have him back,” Sell said later.

Dedicated to his sport

Ryan Shay was born May 4, 1979, in Ypsilanti. He was the fifth of Joe and Susan Shay’s eight children. Running ran in the family. The parents are prep coaches.

At Central Lake, Shay was the first Michigan boy to win four state cross-country titles. He was a Free Press scholar-athlete award winner in 1997 and was class valedictorian with a 4.0 grade-point average.

Shay went onto Notre Dame, where he became a nine-time All-America and 2001 NCAA champion in the 10,000 meters. After graduation, it was his father who suggested he hook up with Vigil at Team USA California at Mammoth Lakes.

Shay enjoyed almost immediate success. In 2003, he became the youngest U.S. men’s marathon champion in 30 years when he won the title at 23. That same year, he also won the USA half-marathon championship.

In an interview with the Free Press before the 2004 Olympic trials in Birmingham, Ala., Joe Shay recalled his son’s work ethic.

“I remember Ryan going out when it was 20 or 30 degrees below zero, because he didn’t want to miss a training day,” Shay said. “I would argue with him after he’d come in coated in snow and icicles, looking like the Abominable Snowman.

“People would call and say, ‘Do you know your son is out there running in this?’ I’d say, ‘It’s called dedication.’”

At the 2004 trials, Shay was among the favorites, but he struggled with a hamstring strain and finished 23rd. He then tried several months later to make the Athens Olympics on the track but finished 10th in the 10,000 meters. Still, he won five national road-racing titles at four distances: the 2003 marathon, 2003-04 half-marathon, 2004 20K and 2005 15K.

Shay’s parents weren’t in New York for the trials, but were headed Brooklyn, Mich., for the state cross-country championships at Michigan International Speedway. Two Central Lake girls had qualified. The Shays were 15 minutes from MIS when they received the news.

Couple built for distance

Ryan Hall, whose winning time of 2:09:02 Saturday set an Olympic trials record, was one of Shay’s closest friends.

Hall and his wife, Sara, attended Stanford, where Shay’s wife, Alicia Craig, was a former NCAA champion in the 10,000. Sara Hall was a bridesmaid in Alicia and Ryan Shay’s July 7 wedding in Jackson Hole, Wyo. Alicia hopes to qualify for the 10,000 at Beijing.

On Friday, Shay and Hall went on a training run together — four miles through Central Park, Sara Hall said. Ryan and Alicia met two years ago at the New York City Marathon, which both had attended as spectators.

“Alicia thought he was going to have a good race,” Sara Hall said of Saturday’s Olympic trials. “He had an incredible ability to push himself. I’ve seen him collapse on treadmill tests before. He could push himself to the limit. I also saw a soft side of him with Alicia. You could just tell his love for her.

“I think it shows how fragile life is, the different extremes. You’re on a high one moment, yet something completely opposite can be going on.”

Verran, from Lake Orion, said of Shay: “Ryan and I were on the same world championship team in Paris in 2003. When he first came out of college, he was a real aggressive runner and very confident — he wanted to take over the world. He was a guy of guy who went for it. It wasn’t part of his nature to lay back.

“This is so tragic.”

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Halloween Party Picts!!


Wendy & the ref


Hustling


"Eat dip out of me!"


Words cannot desribe how fucked up this couple looks.


"I'm gonna get you, sucka!"


"Wake up scary clown!!!"


We are precious!!! MaryAnn is one scary dude!


Drunken Devil


Dwight & Angela


"Ready, aim....."


A crooked criminal, agent, cowgirl & hoochie. What combination!


The runner & Steve King's Carrie


Go Jen, go!


Priest & naughty school girl


"Shwiiiiing!!!"


Garth!


The Total Package with Bedtime Bear


Neil - AKA: The Chick Magnet


Da Carebears!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

A Holla At Ya!

Tonight is the anual Halloween shin dig. I am pumped, as I always am, for this night. You gotta love anything that involves costumes, drinking and fun. Perfection! Well, I am gonna hustle my bootie back into the kitchen to wrap up baking. Catch you peeps lata!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Are You Gonna Dispute Me On A Friday?

I say he is one of the best actors of his generation. GQ also happens to agree with me in this month's issue. So, you want to rumble with me on a Friday and tell me that ain't so, peeps? Come on, I dare ya!


Ryan Gosling

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Who are my boys that are going to bring home the bacon at the Men's Marathon Trials in New York on November 3, 2007?

Glad you asked, here is what I am tinkering with prediction wise....

1st: My blue collar work horse that was as sweet as pie while signing my poster at the Boston Expo in 2006...

Brian Sell


2nd: Steady and reliable adopted son who brought on the fury at Athens...

Meb Keflezighi


3rd: He is a youngen, but I think he has the goods. Oh yeah, I also dig his name.

Dathan Ritzenhein

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Such Things That Excite The Running Nerd In Me...

Which, now lets be honest here, is a big part of yours truly...


Saturday, October 13, 2007

Because It Is So Important To Remember & Think Of How Lucky You Were To Have Some Special People In Your Life...

Sitting here grading some essays this afternoon. The stack is composed of a mix of essays from my comp. classes. Some are of the descriptive nature -- "What would your dream house look like & why?" while the remainders deal with the process aspect -- "How can you and other students become a more effective student?". As my royal blue pen Pilot G -2 07 pen scribbles cautionary remarks pretaining to lack of transitions and fragments, I can't help but think of Kelly Lowe. I remember the insightful comments he used to make on his students' papers and I strive (even though I know I will never come as close as he was able to do with such ease) to ink my papers with the intent of providing a compass of improvement. I miss him a lot during times like this. It is important to remember the man and the lives that he touched in so many different ways.....

http://adeucefortheskycap.blogspot.com/

Monday, October 08, 2007

Because You Know You Watch It Or Are Tempting To Sneak A Peek...

October 23 - The L Word - Season 4. Mark it down, take note, form a mental list. I intend to purchase and then, if at all possible, avoid tearing open the shrink wrap until that upcoming weekend. Come join up for some appetizers and wine. You know you want to. You know you are just a bit intrigued. Trust me and all the other loyal fans, it's captivating, alluring and well, just plain hot in that sort of way that other shows really can't comprehend. Showtime does it better, baby.