The Mighty Lessons Of A Week...

~ I used to be quite enhanted over the years by mysteries and I still think they are beneficial and alluring; however, when they start to provide unneeded false hope and illusions of reality then it is time to just ask the truth. It might sting, it might make you even cry a little, but after that is over you will adjust and possibly live you life a little better and healthier.

~ "Every saint has a past, every sinner had a future." I have loved this quote for years an it constantly reminds me about the values of redemption, remembering and progress.

~ I have learned to give people more than they can handle because they will most likely surprise you.

Literature is the best form of comfort

Tinkering with the idea of having my students dive into Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried" tomorrow night. I know it is a bit ambitious for this type of class but I have faith in them. At times, I think we can all use a little of "TTTC".

"All he could do was dig. He used his entrenching tool like an ax, slashing, feeling both love and hate, and then later, when it was full dark, he sat at the bottom of his foxhole and wept. It went on for a long while. In part, he was grieving for Ted Lavender, but mostly it was for Martha, and for himself, because she belonged to another world, which was not quite real, and because she was a junior at Mount Sebastian College in New Jersey, a poet and a virgin and uninvolved, and because he realized she did not love him and never would."

Reason Number 547 Why This Blogger Can Never Teach Younger Students...

From Tuesday September 19th. ENG 0980:
"Well maybe (name not given for privacy reasons), if you pulled your head out of your ass, stopped eating Dortios so loudly and actually paid attention in class, you would not have to distract me and the rest of the class by asking again what the homework is. It is a syllabus, not toilet paper, read it."

Don't get my wrong, I heart my class and try to keep it as mellow as possible for an evening comp. class but I do think an occasional verbal a$$ whipping is good every once in a while and keeps the blood pumping.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... Another Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

When someone is staying after work to work on non-office work (such as homework or lesson plans) do not ask them annoying questions concerning work issues or think it is cool to lengthly discuss your odd personal problems. Do you think they really want to be bothered with it? Think they like staying after prison hours just to make sure their crap gets done? They are probably their because they don't want distractions. Put the pieces together Forest, leave em alone and go home if you are done.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... Another Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

Crushes are great to have. But learn to take a hint and throw in the towel when you know someone is waaaay out of your league.

Creepy Things That You Need To Stay Away From... One Of Many Rules All Should Follow...

For anybody that thinks their life EXACTLY parallels a tv show or had overly wild hopes that it will, stop it. It is creepy and those around you are starting to notice it. It ain't healthy and psssst..... NEWS FLASH: Most of these shows are NOT based on real life. Learn to deal with your own life and your own reality even though it may be hard to swallow at first. Television is a way for us to forget our troubles not a means to conform every aspect of your life. I have seen this happen with many of the years and on some level almost all of us is guilty of fantasizing but when those lines start to get blurred it is either time to snap out of it or get some help.

"Ain't No Use In Complaining When You Got A Job To Do.."

And that song lyric has never rang truer for me than now. Back to business as usual around here until the show closes which looks like, for sure, January. I am still hunting but also making sure that I keep a good attitude. I know that recently I have been more than a little "off". I had a good conversation with Mrs. Esner at lunch on Saturday regarding jobs, God, choices and life. Her personal career experiences and words of wisdom helped me to see things from a new angle. Also, a belated birthday gift from a friend made me see that everything will work out.

In addition, "Nip/Tuck" seems to provide awesome advice from time to time. I was watching an old repeat on FX when I could not sleep and a quote really got to me. I cannot quote it directly but it went something like this: Some people or situations in your life are like your appendix. You really do not need it or them and sometimes they cause you alot of pain. You are hesitant to lose these things in your life but you soon discover after the removal that you are painfree and better off. Good words to chew on. I have a few appendix like things that I need to remove, and I am working on it. Mine seem to be piece by piece removal opposed to one giant grab and toss.

Felt pretty good about the half marathon this weekend. I ran less than 30 seconds slower than last year. Jen and I were discussing that the weather felt a little warmer than last year but I also know that I was in better shape in Sept 05. I was doing intervals weekly and my speed (or what I have of it) was developing. Due to injuries and teaching, I cannot attend the Tuesday track workouts with the TNT gang but I know I need to start doing those on my own. No excuses now. I have a better attitude and I am getting my focus back. Better late than never!

Funny Things That I Saw During The 1/2 Marathon On Sunday...

~ The man in the mesh shirt. Okay mesh in ANY FORM is not acceptable for clothing. Even the hats are a fashion no, no.

~ The water stop consisting on a guy dressed up as Santa. Thanks, the annoying calypso Jingle Bells that was in my head for the next 4 miles after that.

~ Brian's pugs were so adorable gazing at Elizabeth's bag of chips.

~ Post race school bus filled with sweaty runners = not so good aroma

~ Also, please READ the sign on the window of the bus to know where it is stopping at! I know most of you can read!

I Got Empathy For You Pluto...

Dear Pluto:

I heard the news recently and I am so sorry. What's the deal with those science nerds? Now they have successfully completed their mission to assign you as a "dwarf planet". To steal a saying from one of former my co-workers, "That ain't right". And truly it is not. I mean they let you into their elitist planet club as recent as 1930 only to give you the boot a mere 76 years later. The nerve of them.

On the bright side, we did notice that some loyal backers of yours left some beautiful parting gifts near your stand in the Rocky River Metro Parks. My personal fav. was the retirement balloon and the bottle of beer. I hope the alcohol will help to ease your pain when facing this time of harsh rejection.

Pluto, in a way, I can identify with you this week. UBS has decided to give most of us in Operations the boot within the next few months. No I have not been in orbit here for 76 odd years (a mere 2 1/2 for me) but I still now see the harsh reality of feeling "not in the club". Instead of science nerds, I feel the need to be pissed at business men/women who wear suits costing more than my rent, monthly car payment and student loan payments combined. Oh well, what can you do? I would not even know where to start in order to find these people to confront them just like you have no power to open a can of whoop ass on the nerdy, pocket protector possessing, I am guessing still virgin scientists that demoted your planetary status. Looks like we are left coming back to that beer option. Pluto, for the time being, I would be honored to buy you a Bud or two.

For the time being, Hang in there Pluto. It is best that we stick together during challenging times such as this. In the meantime, don't sell yourself short or "too small" because heavens knows I am not doing that for myself!

Best of Luck,

Risko

Sorry Rhonda

Holy crap, after watching Wrong Turn last night with my dad it is going to be a long time till I go through the hills of West Virginia again.

And The Beat Goes On...

Back to business as usual around here. Well, as usual as it can be despite the lack of energy and positive attitudes being demonstrated by most of the employees. Lots of resume updating and employment hunting going on in this neck of the woods.

Last night was not too bad. Went to a scrapbooking party at Alicia's and got tipsy. Probably not good scrapbooking form but considering the circumstances, I thought it was acceptable. My scapbooking work did not suffer too much.

Thanks to my friends that have called or emailed to see how the sell will affect me directly. Those that work in jobs affiliated with Key already had a pretty good idea and some just found out through other sources and called to check in. Thanks buds. And for those that did not or just don't care, well, I don't really give a crap, you can go screw yourself. And I hope that scooping elephant crap on an daily is somehow worked into your job duties in the near future.

Black Wednesday

Well, it's official. It was announced that McDonald Financial Group was purchased by UBS this morning. I actually got the heads up this weekend but could not say anything till it was officially announced to the media and employees today. We had our operations meeting this morning at 8:45. Those that were not in the office were called by their managers to call dial into the meeting. Many questions were asked by employees with few answers to be given by the head of operations and HR at this time. They explained to us that right now it is a wait and see game. The deal is finalized but the odds and ends regarding who will have jobs and who will not is still being examined and analyzed. I talked with many people in my department and outside and after examining what we do and how it affects the brokerage and bank side, I believe our department will be let go. The plus side is that we will not be let go until end of January and there will be some sort of severance package and extension of benefits (although mine will be short because I have only been here 2 1/2 years).

However, I must say that I consider myself to be lucky. Not much is getting done around here because most are still in shock (even though the rumors have been circulating for a few weeks)but after listening to many talk I do feel like I am in a better position than most. I do not have a family or child on the way (like some of my co-worker friends do). Also, I am pretty young so hopefully that is a plus for the job market. In addition, I do have a part-time teaching gig at the college with some additional hours that I can pick up at the campus writing center. Not near the financial security that I have here but if need be, I will take it.

I know many of you know that I have been pretty grumpy considering my job recently. My attitude has been crappy due to department changes. However, I do love the people in my department. It is no secret that I have been applying and interviewing to other institutions for the past few months but I also felt a sense of security because if those options did not work out I could still stay here at McDonald. Now that has been stripped away. I, like I am guessing many, felt better when I had the choice to walk away from this place instead of it walking away from me under the UBS name. We shall see what the future holds...

The Things We Do For Crushes....

Last night at around 2:30 am (had some issues sleeping due to my sinus congestion & asthma) my mind started to wonder to obscure topics. Right after my second hit of my Albuterol inhaler (odd because I rarely have to rely on it in non athletic pursuits) I laid in bed and began to think of all the curiously stupid things I have done in the past for the sake of crushes. Some I did when I was younger and others I did when I was older and probably should've know better not to be so over zealous with my actions.

After taking a mental inventory as I tossed my sheet on and off and did the fourth rotation of pillows under my head in order to aid my breathing ailment, I came to the conclusion that the one that takes the cake has to be when I decided to take a summer class during college just because a crush of mine was going to be taking the class. Looking back, it was a a great class, in fact on of my favorites that I took at Mount Union but my rational behind initially deciding to peruse the class was humorous and logically flawed.

Anyone else want to share what they have done in the name of a crush? Come on, I know you got some good stories out there....

Back In The Saddle

Well, trying to get my head and body back on track. Besides this plaguing cough and sinus pressure, I am getting there. Started my night class this evening. It seems like a great group of students. I have a lot of automechanics, nursing students and even a future chef in my class. Yee haw boys and gals, the fall semester is in session!

A Penny For Your Thoughts Concerning My Next Career Move...

With rapid rumors flying around Key/McDonald Operations that UBS will be buying out Key, I decided to put some thought toward my next career choice. Every few months the rumors heat up that another firm will buy out Key. In the two and a half years since I have been there I have heard National City's name thrown around quite a bit. Towards the end of work today I heard more people talking about it and I even heard that some were crying. As for me, I choose not to think too hard about it since it is not really a secret that I have been looking actively for employment elsewhere even before I heard of the serious rumors. I refuse to get my stomach all in knots and risk getting diarrhea over something that I inevitably have no control over. But I guess I can see some being upset. Especially those that have spent a majority or even their whole careers with this one company.

So, dare I ask, if fate does have me making another move, what should be my next choice? Perhaps taking a huge loan and opening that bar that me and my one friend always discussed or should I start to finely tune my fire juggling skills?

A Little Bit Loose & A Little Bit Tight

The entertaining drunken bachelor party boys from Detroit (sporting U of M gear and all!) that we met at the Tribe game on Saturday kept making references to the subject line so I think I'll use it to give the weekend round-up! They did buy us beer so they earned their shout out.

The weekend was a pretty good one. Headed over to The Budapest Blonde martini and wine bar with some friends for a belated b-day gathering. I really enjoy that place. Very low key, intimate and smoke-free. I realize that the drinks can be a little pricey for some but they do use top shelf alcohol and use a good amount in all their mixed drinks. After two you are flying pretty high.

The run on Saturday morning with Jen went fairly well despite the humidity. The both of us both felt pretty well physically which is a step in the right direction considering that we have both seemed to be plagued by injuries while training for the Marine Corps. Marathon. I think we are finally starting to get our crap together for this one!

Went to the Tribe game on Saturday night. The seats were pretty sweet (thanks Uncle Thud!) but we did have some grievances about the thick heat because we were under the overhang. However, the icecream after the game helped to remedy that.

Sunday was mostly devoted to getting all my school crap organized for my night class that begins on Tuesday. Finished all the stapling of the syllabuses and junk so I think I am in pretty good shape. Also went for a long walk with Deb while we managed to mostly avoid the rain. Watched half of "Broke Back" and had some serious concerns about the caliber of movies being released this year considering the dynamite showcase last year. I know it is still early in the game and the holiday hype has not yet begun but I am still thinking that it might be a light year for Oscar worthy contenders.

Things I Would Really Like To Do When I Am 27

Okay, one day into it and I am going to start thinking big. We shall see how long this motivation lasts! It is the job of all of you out there to make sure that I do not fall off the horse or if I do fall off, I dust myself off and get right back on.

1.) Lose some pounds and get in better shape. Marathon running had kept me in pretty good cardiovascular shape over the years however my crappy diet has kept the pounds on. I need to eat more of the good stuff and leave out so much of the sweets and fats. I was looking back at pictures this week from my junior year of high school and I had some definition in the ab area going on. Not sure if I will ever be able to make that happen again but I am going to give it a shot!

2.) The weird passive aggressiveness needs to stop. My mom is the queen of this tactic and currently my attitude has been leaning towards assuming her ranking. If I am upset I need to express it in a diplomactic means. Life is too short to keep things bottled up or wreck relationships over dumb reasons.

3.) I need to meet different types of people. Dahler and I have been having a discussion of specific types. I have met some AWESOME new folks this year (Liz, Brian, Lisa K just to name a few) I need to keep this trend going because the more people I meet the more I learn. : )

4.) Get my career path on track. Alot of you know my job dilemmas recently. I am trying to make some changes and I need to remember to keep being persistent and not let minor set backs discourage me too much. The important thing is that I keep the faith and push forward with my efforts.

An Overdue Apology Redux

Sorry that I left so odd and quickly a year ago. As you guessed, it was not the sour stomach from food poisoning that sent me home so shortly after I had arrived. And no, I was not intent on watching the N.C. on tv after I got home. Things are in a better place now and I guess no guarentees that it will happen again but as for now I think that roads are alot clearer and the communication has been better than ever. And as Mr. Joel put it, "And so it goes, and so it goes.. And you're the only one who knows..."

When You Are Finally Ready To Admit That There Needs To Be A Change

These past two weeks have been stressful for me and I have not been in my usual spirits. Throw the extra additive of pms in there and then you have a dangerous mixture. For the past two and a half weeks I had to work a co-workers desk while she took a much deserved vacation to Florida with her family. Our department was recently consolidated a few sort months ago so alot of us are still learning all the ropes. Before I even took over her desk I had major anxiety issues because I knew that my overall knowledge still had alot of holes and I also was aware that she had the busiest desk in the department. Everyday I faced a new challenge and soon learned that the branches that my co-worker tended to posed the oddest and difficult questions to be answered. My co-workers helped me out alot during the time that I tended to her desk yet I still was constantly worrying and would get upset if I could not immediately solve an issue.

This made me realize (well, not so much realize as enforce) that I have unfortunately inherited two of my parents' worst traits. My mom, even though she has the ability to talk to anyone and never really have a phobia of meeting new people is also a constant worrier. She worries not only about herself and loved ones but also events and people that have no real impact on her life. I always harp on her for biting her nails and worrying her stomach sick but I now know that I do the same. I have discovered that running has helped me relive alot of my anxiety but unfortunately I have not been able to do alot of that over the past 2 weeks do to a leg injury. I need to learn to take things one step at a time instead of looking at the huge picture and freaking out about how everything is going to get solved in one grand swoop.

My dad is a pretty happy and easy going guy with a finely tuned sense of sarcasm. Both my mom and brother claim that he mellowed out alot after having a daughter and I like to believe that helped his attitude even more. However, my dad also has a bad anger streak. Now we both share the same stupid habit of smashing or kicking walls or doors (as I learned from going postal on a steering wheel and bathroom door recently). I am not really sure why we do this. Maybe it is just that we have the immediate need to release our energy and violent actions seem like the easiest of ways. I know this is not really a productive way and I am really going to start to look into some deep breathing exercises or calming mediation methods.

Five Random elevision Beliefs...

~ FX currently has the best originals series on television.

~ Six Feet Under is the best written series ever.

~ Soap never reached its creative potential due to the time period when it aired.

~ Everyone does not love Raymond because I do not love him.

~ ER, how many more times can you jump the shark? It is time to shutdown the
hospital.